Girls Just Want To Have Fun!

2011-05-19T10:29:00.002-05:00

Blaaaaarg...

2011-03-21T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'm weight loss blogging again, so I thought I'd give a little attention to THIS blog too. Not much to report. Doing the work and school thing still. I can not WAIT for this semester to be over.

Changed my major from Education to Liberal Arts. This will allow me to continue to work full time. I was worried about having to quit my job to do student teaching. If I quit my job, not only do I lose my income and insurance, but I also lose my fabulous 70% tuition discount. My new plan is to just finish my bachelor degree and then go from there to get a teaching license.
Moved in with my brother last November. Now Timmy, Logan and I are all living together. It's pretty funny to be living with both of my siblings, but I love it. The atmosphere is a million times friendlier than my parent's house and it's way cheaper than living on my own. Plus, I like having roommates.
Work sucks most of the time. I constantly struggle with my feelings toward my coworker. I have to pray for God to make me sweet. :) Seriously. Here's the difference between my coworker and myself. She's here for a paycheck and tuition discount ONLY. I'm here because I love what I do. I love our patients. I'm constantly trying to make the process easier and better, etc, etc... It's hard to sit back and watch someone half-ass their job and not even care.
I still watch too much tv. I'm addicted to Greek right now. I love Netflix Instant!

That about sums up my life. SO SAD. Here are a few things I'm looking forward too:

Seth Meyers. I'm going to Arkansas Tech on 4/11/11 to see him LIVE! He is my very favorite SNL cast member. I think he's smart and hilarious and oh so sexy. :)
Memphis in May. I've already bought tickets for me and Rach and booked a hotel room. It's a super expensive trip, but it will be totally worth it. I'm looking forward to seeing The Flaming Lips, The New Pornographer, Mumford & Sons, The Avett Brothers and Wilco...among many others.
Camping. I'm taking a week long camping trip the first week of June. It's mine and Rach's 3rd annual post spring semester camping trip. The weather is warm enough to swim and cool enough to enjoy being outside. The camp sites at Degray are super nice and shaded. I've been building up my camping supplies for the last couple of months.
Weekly lake trips. After all of my vacations, I'll be back to work, but... I plan to drive to Lake DeGray every weekend possible for lots of laying in the sun times.

Okay...that's all that I can think of for now. Better get back to work!

I'm back!

2010-07-01T10:51:00.003-05:00

Okay. I didn't love tumblr. I love the familiarity of blogger.

Absolutely nothing is going on, so it's not like I'll be blogging a ton. It's been a lazy summer so far. Rach and I go to the lake as much as possible. This week I've been housesitting in Sherwood...a welcome vacation away from my house.

My Landon girlies are coming over for a sleepover-swim party this weekend. I am super excited. I will try to take pics, but no guarantees. I've been terrible about not taking pictures lately.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to say, "I'm back. Woo hoo!" :D

Relocating...for now.

2010-05-11T12:06:00.001-05:00

I'm blogging here now: www.mytechnicolordreams.tumblr.com.

Memphis Trip

2010-03-22T09:01:00.007-05:00

JM's during "Gravity". The guitar solo blew my mind.

Rach and I went to see John Mayer in Memphis this past weekend. Fun times! I stole that pic above from some random twitterer who was at the same show. We were NOT that close. :) Here's a pic from where WE were sitting.

Almost to the very top of Fedex Forum!

Anyhoo, we got to Memphis at 3:00 on Friday afternoon. We checked into the hotel and just chilled until the concert. Rach was so freaking excited. John Mayer is her absolute favorite. We got to the show early and found our seats...so freaking high up. I was sick to my stomach and couldn't look down until all the seats filled up with people. It was crazy high!

Michael Franti & Spearhead played first. I really like their music. It's everyone-love-everyone music with a fun dance beat. :) Unfortunately, we were so high up that we really couldn't hear him. I think it was the bass noise and his super low register. So, kind of a disappointment.

There was an intermission before John came on. A huge net surrounded the stage...

Me: What do you think that net is for?

Rach: I think it's to protect John from malaria. You know...from the mosquitos?

Me: (sarcastically) Haha. Yeah. I get it. :)

Me: So, do you think John gets nervous before concerts?

Rach: Probably. I bet he's looking at himself in the mirror right now saying, "You're awesome. No, YOU'RE awesome."

Me: I bet he's doing push ups right now to make his pecks look bigger.

And so on and so forth. Finally, music started playing and images were projected on the screen that surrounded the stage. It was pretty cool, actually. Rach said, "OMG. My heart is racing!" Then the screens dropped and there he was! LOL. Rach was in HEAVEN. Thankfully, we didn't have the same problem hearing John as we did with Michael Franti. We did have to strain to hear when he was just talking, but the music was crystal clear.

Here's the set list:

Heartbreak Warfare

No Such Thing

Crossroads

Belief

Perfectly Lonely

Assassin

Stop This Train

The Heart of Life

Ain't No Sunshine - Guitar solo was awesome!

Waiting on the World to Change

Vultures

Half of My Heart > Walking in Memphis

Why Georgia

Gravity - He blew my mind with his guitar solo on this song!

Encore:

Who Says

I'm Gonna Find Another You

Needless to say, after this concert Rach was even more in love with John Mayer! :) We went back to the hotel and watched all of his music videos. Haha!

Saturday morning we took advantage of the hotels contentinal breakfast. Then we packed up, checked out and headed to Beale Street. We walked up and down Beale St several times. We went into all of the souvenir shops and ended up buying t-shirts. In one of the shops there was an acoustic guitar signed by John Mayer. I took a pic of Rach touching it. Hehe. Too bad I didn't have 350 extra dollars in my pocket. Otherwise, I might have bought it for her.

We ended the trip by having lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe.

I have some pics, but they're on Rach's camera. I'll try to get them from her and post them here later.

One little side note, we were kind of exhausted from only 4 hours of sleep the night before. On the drive home (Rach was driving), I decided to do some Mad Libs (our fave!). The first few were pretty funny. On the last one, I told Rach to be extra dirty (it makes 'em funnier! Don't judge!), so...she did. The result was so freaking hilarious that I went blind from laughing so hard and Rach ran off the road from the hilarity! Not so much that we wrecked, but we hit those loud noise thingys on the side of the interstate. Anyhoo, it was so hilarious. I would share it, but you probably wouldn't think it was funny. I asked Rach, "Does anyone other than us this we're that hilarious?" She said, "Probably not." We laugh so hard when we're together!

Download these songs (if you don't already have them):

Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti and Spearhead

Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer

A day in the City

2010-03-08T09:08:00.011-06:00

View of the River Market from the Junction Bridge

Blue skies from the Junction Bridge

Downtown Little Rock from the Junction Bridge

Then on to the Big Dam Bridge

This is just the ramp that leads to the bridge. Goo!

My first thought when I saw the bridge was, "HELLO! I believe I ordered the large cappuccino!"

The east side of the BDB.

View from the East side of the BDB

The flags in the middle of the BDB.

The West (calmer) side of the BDB.

View from the West. Oh look! Another bridge! :)

My sweet baby was waiting for me when I got home.

Snow Days

2010-02-09T19:56:00.005-06:00

I hardly ever look at the forecast. I just check my weather channel iPhone app when I wake up on weekday mornings so I'll know how to dress for work. Well, Monday morning I woke up to a major surprise. It had snowed! My first thought was, "SH*T!" I did not want to miss work. When it had iced the week before, I missed a day and my nazi of a boss wouldn't let me use vacation time to make up lost hours. So, when I woke up Monday morning and saw the snow I knew that I would have to drive in it. NOT FUN. I got to work at 7 am with no troubles. Out of pure defiance I didn't do any work. I did on algebra and played on facebook. TAKE THAT ATTENDANCE NAZIS! After a while I looked out the window and noticed that the snow was POURING down (is that the right verb?).

View from my office

HUGE flakes. It was so pretty, but I couldn't appreciate it because I knew it would only make my drive home worse. Boo snow! Then my coworker, Jamie, came in and asked me to go play outside with her. I put aside my anger at the snow and we ran downstairs.

Right outside my building

We measured the snow. 2 inches at that point.

Then we snapped a pic of us being retarded. Fun times!

We ran back inside only to discover that it was lunch time. We put off work further to go stuff our faces. Woot! Then Jamie discovered a loophole in the inclement weather policy and we all rejoiced that we would soon be able to go home...after we ate, of course. We went got back to the office, we heard that UAMS decided to have mercy on us and said we could leave. TTL! I was so happy! Until I got to my car and the stress began. I made it out of the parking deck only to get stuck on a hill...twice! I thought I'd burn my motor up trying to get up that hill. ANGER! Then there was someone blocking my entrance to the interstate. I had to wait for about 10 minutes before that was cleared up. I don't know what my hurry was... I proceeded to sit on the interstate for 2 1/2 hours! I literally rode in 1st gear almost the entire way home! My blood pressure was so high and my bladder was so full. To top it all off, I had forgotten my ipod, so I only had the radio and Blueprint III cd to keep me company. Misery! I finally made it onto Hwy 67/167 and kicked it into high gear (3rd...ugh) and passed those slow bitches that were about to make me pee on myself. I finally made it home w/o killing myself or peeing on myself. SUCCESS!

By home, I mean the home where I was house sitting/dog sitting. When I got there, I had to trek up a steep hill through about 3-4 inches of snow. Remember earlier when I mentioned that I didn't normally look at the forecasts? Well, that means I didn't know snow was coming and I didn't pack proper snow atire. So, I'm trekking up this hill through the snow in my tennis shoes. My the time I made it up the hill, my pants, shoes and socks were SOAKED. Awesome. And THEN I found out that the snow had made tree branches fall in the back yard. One of the branches took out part of the fence. Great. I have four dogs that need to go out. UGH!!! I HATE WINTER! Thankfully, it was the fence separating my backyard from the neighbor's back yard. The neighbor was super nice and said he didn't mind if the dogs wandered over there. He made sure his gates were closed. Whew! Crisis averted. I changed clothes, let the dogs out and then took a minute to pause and appreciate the pretty, white snow. SIKE! It sure would've been nice if I hadn't been afraid of the UAMS attendance nazis, then I might've stayed home and have been able to appreciate the beauty of the snow. But, no. Because I had wasted the whole day at work, I had missed out on the fun stuff. By this time it was pouring rain and was ruining the pretty snow. UGH! I HATE WINTER!!!!!

View from the front porch

View from the back door (the fence to the right was knocked down)

Sam LOVES the snow. He frolicked around the backyard with the other dogs.

Since his face is squished, when he'd put his face down to lick or sniff, he'd come up with a face full of snow. CUTE!

So, that's my overly dramatic telling of my snow day. Hope you enjoyed. I actually missed work today. My boss took pity on us and allowed us to use a vacation day today. I have no idea what changed her mind, but believe me...I know it pained her to say that. You could tell by the look on her face. Anyhoo...I woke up early and called all my patients to cancel clinic (they weren't coming anyway) and then went back to bed. Yippee! I slept til noon and then cleaned up the house. I packed up our stuff and then we were on the road by 2:00. HOME SWEET HOME!

On a different note...On Friday night, Rach and I saw Dear John. We mainly went because Rach LOVES Channing Tatum. My advice to you: wait for DVD. It's not a bad movie. It's just not a movie you should rush to the theater to see.

Okay. That's all folks.

Here we go again...

2010-01-12T13:55:00.011-06:00

I haven't blogged in almost a year! I have a boring life, so I don't know why I'm even considering keeping this blog at all. BUT...I'm gonna. :) So, how about an update? Well...even that seems redundant because there are only two people who read this blog. Ima do it anyway...

1. I just turned 33. Ugh. I don't love being this old. When I was a teenager, I set these (probably ridiculous) goals for myself. I was going to graduate college by 21, be married and have my first child by 25. If I measure my life by whether or not I achieved those goals...I'm a big fat failure! At the age of 21, I was just STARTING college. At the age of 25, I had dropped out of college (too much partying) and was back home living with my parents. Awesome. Life fail!

2. I moved back in with my parents (their idea). Double ugh! How lame am I? But, I'm saving on rent and utilities and they're footing my tuition bill. My mom just called me up and said, "Hey! Why dontcha move in with us and go back to school?" Um, okay. :) It's actually been pretty fantastic so far. I'm getting spoiled from all the home cooked meals.

3.Speaking of school...I started back to school this semester. I'm taking 13 hours: US History since 1877 (required for my major), Speech (I've put it off forever b/c I hate speaking in front of people!), Intro to Visual Art, Dieting & Weight Mgmt (1 hour online course. I'm taking it because I needed one more hour.) and Intermediate Algebra. The algebra is for sure going to kick my arse. I haven't done math (or any school work) since 2002. I will literally have to work on it for hours every day. Boo math! Anyhoo...my plan is to get a degree in Middle Level Education. I'll be licensed to teach English and History to 4th-8th graders. I'd prefer to teach the 8th graders, but obviously I'll take what I can get. :)

I actually think that's it. How sad is my life update?! How about a social update or something?

My kids (who aren't really MY kids, but just kids that I claim): Rach is 19 and in her second semester at Tech. She made straight A's her first semester. That's cause she's a BAMF! :) When she's home, she's my constant companion. We're BFFF and bastically the same person.

Rach is so awesome that she should have a whole planet named after her...not just a trail!

Kellie is 15 now and in the 10th grade. She's in the band...plays the flute and is on the flag line. She's really smart too. She's very social and is always going out. She had her first boyfriend and first break up this past semester. Awwww. :) She is definitely the typical 15 y/o girl!

Kellie's facebook page is full of pics like this. She's very creative.

Shae is 10 and is super craz-zay! For my birthday, she and her dad, Chris, made a song for me. I wish that I had a video of it b/c it was AMAZING! Basically, Shae made posters with the words: Happy, Birthday, Bob (what Shae calls me). Chris used Shae's keyboard to play a funky beat and then pecked out a tune similar to Jimmy Fallon's "I Wish It Was Christmas Today". Shae danced and held up the cards instead of singing. It was hiiiiilarious.

It's hard to get a good pic of Shae. She's always acting super silly. Kind of like her older sisters...

My dog: Samuel L. Jackson is still one bad mo fo. Hehe. Seriously...best dog ever! I couldn't imagine my life w/o him.

Speaking of dogs...these are my parent's dogs that have adopted me.

Baxley and Barlow

On a sadder note, recently on of my best friends passed away. Caleb was an art teacher. He was fantastic. One of the most talented people that I know. He could sing and play guitar in addition rocking at art stuff. :) I have a hard time accepting that he's not here anymore. Sometimes it hits me and it's so painful. Other times it's like he's in his apartment in Little Rock and I could just call him right up. If I called him up right now, he'd say (in country voice), "Courtney, lets just get together and marfelate on each other." He had a song about his word, marfles. "I don't want to be jaded. I just want to be marfelated." I know you can't hear the tune like I can in my head...

_____________________________________________________________

I actually wrote all that a couple weeks ago. School has kept me sooo busy that I haven't been able to get back to this...

We had some wintry weather this weekend. I didn't go to work on Friday and my class was canceled today. Woot! I've been super lazy today. I got up at 845 am because mom cooked breakfast and then I was back in bed by 10. I slept until 2! It. Was. Awesome.

Today is my mom's bday. I completely forgot. It's 4:33...the day's almost over and I still haven't wished her a happy birthday. Mom woke me up at 2 and said she and dad were going to a movie...and that's when it dawned on me. I've been kicking myself ever since...waiting for her to get home so I can pounce on her. Even worse...this morning while I was eating breakfast I watched last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live. He did a hilarious bit about Oprah's birthday (which was yesterday). Mom LOVES Oprah, so I made her come watch it with me. I MADE HER WATCH A FUNNY ABOUT OPRAH'S BDAY...all the while forgetting that it was HER birthday. I SUCK!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Anyhoo...this is my first post back. Hopefully I'll remember to post regularly. But...don't get your hopes up. :)

Can't get it out of my head!

2009-02-20T09:15:00.006-06:00

I can NOT stop singing songs from this album. I listen to it on the way to work, all day at work, on the way home from work, when I'm at home cleaning and right before I go to bed I watch one or two or ALL of their videos on my iPod.

Fa-REEK-ing HILARIOUS.

Buy it.

P.S. Just in case you don't know who The Lonely Island is (are?)... You DO know Andy Samberg, right? SNL? If you've seen SNL digital shorts, you've probably heard a few of these songs.

"A boom box can change the world. You've got to know your limits with a boom box. This was a cautionary tale. A BOOM BOX IS NOT A TOY!"

I feel this way...

2009-01-13T16:59:00.005-06:00

I have so many dreams, but I am too lazy (or whatever you want to call it) to do the work to make those dreams come true. I wish I could change that.

Speaking of (a different kind of) dreams... I had that recurring dream again. This time I was changing lanes on a bridge. I was switching from the middle lane to the slow lane and my car just kept going. I drove right off of the bridge. I was somehow able to turn all the way around in my seat and watch myself fall...instead of seeing the water rushing at me, I saw the bridge get further and further away (in slow mo). Sam was with me and I pulled him tight into my arms. Then my car hit the water...only there was really no impact. Water rushed into the car. In the next part of the dream, I'm waking up at someone's house. I ask where my dog is and I'm told that Sam didn't make it. Not because of the crash, but because he had cancer. Injuries from the crash revealed the cancer. I was so devastated that I ran out of the house and burst into tears. I rammed my fists into my eyes to try to stop the flow of tears. After I cried myself out, I went to a bedroom and laid down. A man came in to check on me. I said, "I can still feel him laying behind me." (I usually lay on my side and Sam curles up behind my knees.) And then I woke up.

Holidays Schmolidays.

2009-01-02T11:39:00.007-06:00

Thanksgiving was meh. Christmas was meh. New Years was fun. Yay! Birthday so far is meh.

Meh!

Haha! Sorry to be a downer, but that's just how I'm feeling these days.

Thanksgiving: Did I already blog about Thanksgiving? I think I did. So, just a refresher...Mom doesn't like to cook, so we went out to eat sushi on Thanksgiving eve and then on Thanksgiving day mom & I slept late while the boys and Dad went to Dad's parent's house. Later, we went to a movie. Four Christmases. Very funny! Overall, very disappointing Thanksgiving for me.

Christmas: Christmas eve I went to my parents house for munching and games. Logan got off work at 11:00 p.m., so we opened gifts a little after midnight. Then we all went our separate ways to sleep. On Christmas Day we reconviened and went to see The Day The Earth Stood Still. IT SUCKED BIG TIME! Overall, MEH.

New Years Eve: I was dog sitting last week, so I was in a fabulous house on NYE. I invited Rachael and Stephanie to come hang with me. My friend, Brian, also pooped in for a while. Rachael and I cooked chili and brownies and later when Steph and Brian showed up we played Scene It. After Brian left, we had a major "girl talk" session. FUN!

Birthday: Well, the fact that I'm now 32...that calls for a very loud "MEH"! But, I'm telling myself that I'm only 29, so...whatever. Birthday's now are really no biggie. My pal, Angie, decorated my desk and made me cupcakes and gave me cash. My other pal, Jenn, took me to lunch and to Starbucks. Woot! So, I'm very well fed and the extra cash allowed me to pay off my antique furniture! Yippee!! I am very excite! Tonight I'm stopping by my parent's house for some veggie soup and later my Rach is coming over to give me a prezzie. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I freaking LOVE that movie! Overall, it's been a fabulous b-day. I'm only saying "meh" over the age part.

Merry Christmas from Sam! hehe

2008-12-09T09:43:00.003-06:00

Nuther good one...

2008-12-04T22:10:00.003-06:00

I promise I'm not going to turn this blog into a nightly "talk about my devotion" time. It's just right now I feel like I'm waking up from a deep sleep. I'm excited that God is talking to me again...or rather...I'm excited that I'm able to HEAR Him again. Anyhoo...just wanted to share this:

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy." Psalm 16:11

Your joy is not based on your circumstances. Happiness may be based on what is happening to you, but not joy. Joy - a fruit of the Spirit - is like a deep well on the inside of you. It is not the fruit of your circumstance. No matter what you are facing in life, you can have joy in the midst of it. - From JM's Ending Your Day Right

It's not like these are new words to me. I've been a Christian for a long time. I've heard these things over and over. But, what awes me is that God knows just when you need to really hear these things. If I'd read that passage, say, last month...it wouldn't mean as much as it does to me today. Today...I'm excited to remember that I can have joy even though I'm going through some real crap right now. Yay!

One more thing...

"Oh I get by with a little help from my friends. Mmmm I get high with a little help from my friends. Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends." - The Beatles

hehe.

God's Peace. Like Calgon...only eleventy billion times better.

2008-12-03T22:23:00.009-06:00

Things have been stressful lately. Work is so stressful that I'm working 10 hour days and having crying fits. My personal life...even worse. I've been freaking over some things this week. So bad that I've had to pull out the trusty old xanax just so I could calm down enough to sleep. This morning, I was so panicked that I could barely function. So, I prayed. "Please God. I need a miracle..."

On the way to work I thought, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?!" And by "this" I mean, separating myself from God. ABB, like you, I've been struggling with this. For three long years I've been moving further and further away. And for three long years, I've seen my life stagnate. I know what I need to do to make things right, but I'm lazy and I'm the queen of avoidance. Avoiding the physical (for lack of a better word) issues and the spiritual issues. Well, I avoid until I need a miracle. Then who's the first one I call on? God. I'm disgusted with myself for taking advantage of Him.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I did get my miracle today. And it came thru a friend...Jiff. Thanks pal.

The whole reason I'm really writing this blog is so I could talk about what I just read. You see as I was getting ready for bed, I decided I needed to get back in the Word. My life really has suffered since I stopped reading my Bible and praying...just spending time with and learning from God. So, I thought I'd start easy. Baby steps. I pulled the book Ending Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer off of my bookshelf. I opened it to December 3rd and this is what it said:

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Jesus knew he was about to pass from this world and He wanted to leave us something. He could have left any number of good things, like His power and His name, and He did. But He also left us His peace. Jesus had a special kind of peace that surpassed anything mankind had ever known. He knew it was one of the most precious things He could give. Ask for and receive your inheritance tonight!

Um...........HELLO!
God knew I needed to read those EXACT words tonight. Earlier today I was praying for a miracle. God gave me one. And now he wants to remind me that he has also given me peace. I just need to receive it.

Thanksgiving Week

2008-11-30T21:58:00.005-06:00

On Tuesday Logan, Sam and I drove up to Petit Jean Mtn. Leisurely stops at overlooks and meandering down the easier trails...it was a beautiful day. I just wish we had gone a few weeks earlier. Most of the trees had dropped their leaves. Oh well. It was still nice.

Wednesday night, my family went to the Samauri Steakhouse for an unconventional Thanksgiving dinner. Sushi and cocktails all around. We had a blast. But...I'm kinda sad that I didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. *tears*

Thursday, mom and I had to take one of her dogs to the emergency vet in Maumelle. Turns out the dog was fine. While we were doing that, my dad and brothers were at my grandparents having their traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Later on, we all met up to go see Four Christmases. It's really funny!

Twilighters...

2008-11-21T10:18:00.005-06:00

If you haven't read the Twilight books you're missing out. Good stuffs! Go read them before you see the movie.

Last night I went with a group of my pals to the midnight showing of the movie. We had a blast. The movie is magical and beautiful. Siiiiiiigh. <-- Hehe. That was my inner teenage girl talking. Seriously though...FUN TIMES!

The Twins. *rolling eyes*

They talk and move so fast! This was the only pic I got of them...and I think it sums them up beautifully! =)

The Twins and their momma!

KK & I

Me n My Momma!

Recurring Dream...

2008-11-20T11:06:00.006-06:00

I have two recurring anxiety dreams. The school anxiety dream...I still have them even though I haven't been in school for years. You know the one... Usually people dream that they've shown up at school without pants or a top, or completely naked. My school dream is: I show up at school...I'm running late and I can't remember my locker combo to get my books. Or I'm in class and I can't remember any of the material and we're having a test over it in a few minutes. Sigh. I really think that I am the queen of anxiety dreams. This week I've had TWO. Not the school dream though. This is a different one. The falling from great heights dream.

Monday night I dreamed that I was driving by myself along a highway. I had to cross over a ridiculously tall bridge. Somehow I lost control of the car and went over the side. In my dream I'm saying to my self, "OMG. Is this real or a dream? I think this is real. This feels real!" and then I start praying. In this dream, it takes me a long time to fall into the water. I'm praying, "Lord, please welcome me to heaven." and then I hit the water. And I wake up. I thought this dream was interesting because usually when I'm praying to God, I'm praying for him to keep me safe...to keep me alive. In this one, I just want to go Home.

Last night I had the dream again! The gist is the same, only this time I'm in the back seat of a van. There are four of us. We're on an overpass and we're curving down and around to get to another interstate (if that makes any sense). Again, it is ridicuously high. And again, the driver loses control of the van and we go over. As we're falling, I'm praying, "God please keep us safe. Help us to land safely. Please keep us in the palm of your hand." And guess what. He did. This is where the dream differs from all of my other dreams. Usually I hit water, ground, whatever and wake up. This time we actually landed safely. After we hit the ground, my friends spilled out of the van exclaiming, "OMG. How did we survive?!" And I said, "I'll tell you how. I prayed." I looked up at the bridge...way to high up for someone to survive a fall...and thought to myself, "I need to take a picture so I can post it on my blog!" And then I woke up. =)

So, I'm sure that these dreams are a result of my current financial stress. I have this CC that I need to pay down. I have Christmas gifts to buy, the usual bills to pay and now I've agreed to buy this really great furniture. It is my dream furniture though. So, I'm going to justify it. I KNOW I SHOULD SPEND THE MONEY ON BILLS. But I've never had a matching bedroom set before. And this one is so pretty and VINTAGE. Sigh. Anyway, that HAS to be the reason I'm having the falling dream, right? Cause I googled "falling from great heights dream" and got a page that said I might be having an "astral projection"! hahahaha!

This page sums it up for me:

As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment. You have lost your foothold and can not hang on or keep up with the hustle and bustle of daily life. When you fall, there is nothing that you can hold on to. You more or less are forced toward this downward motion without any control. This lost of control may parallel a waking situation in your life. Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation. It may be the fear of failing in your job/school, loss of status, or failure in love. You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride. You are unable to keep up with the status quo or that you don't measure up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABB!

2008-11-11T20:41:00.005-06:00

I love you so much! I hope you have the most fabulous birthday ever!

ABB and CBB at 16.

ABB and CBB (holding CBB #2) at...25?

I love Fall!

2008-11-10T09:58:00.004-06:00

It is my most favoritest time of the year! Here are some fall-y things that I heart...

Flossiemeister!

BayBooBear!

Goggies!

2008-11-10T09:49:00.006-06:00

Sam and I have been dog/house sitting the past week. I'm sooo in love with the house. It's in the Heights and only 5 or 10 minutes from work. I feel so spoiled. My pals come home tonight, so Sam and I have to head back to Benton. We're so sad. *tears* But, we have tomorrow off to get over it. Thanks Veterans!

Here are some pics of Sam and Riata...the dog we've been sitting on. =)

My girls drove up and we had a slumber party Sat night. Fun times! We made pizza and watched a movie. The movie was old skool: I Know What You Did Last Summer.

If I Had To Define My Christianity...

2008-11-06T19:29:00.014-06:00

I'd say this:

I am a Christian (that voted for Obama, BTW). I love Jesus. I want to serve the Lord. I want my life to be pleasing to Him.

I am a Christian that believes in love and acceptance. Even if I believe differently than you. Even if I disagree with your lifestyle. I will love you and accept you anyway. It is not my place to judge you. You will deal with your life decisions when you face God…just like I will.

I believe that God loves you AS YOU ARE, WHERE YOU ARE. I don't believe that there are conditions to God's love.

We, as Christians, are supposed to witness to non Christians. To bring people to Christ. I personally believe that the best way to do that is to live a life of LOVE. Not to point fingers. Pointing fingers and condemning others turns non Christians AWAY.

_____________________________________

I know all of this seems random. Actually, the above comments stem from several emails between Rachael and myself. She's confused and upset by all of the Obama bashing happening around her...in school and in church. She was actually told yesterday that she was going to go to hell because she supported Obama. *rolling eyes* She was wondering why people thought it was non Christian to vote Democrat...because that's the impression she's getting from her church. I just told her that, of course, we aren't any less Christian than the people in her church that voted Republican. It just means that we aren't "one issue" voters. *I'm not saying that all Republicans are "one issue" voters. Just the ones that are attacking her. You'd have to read all of the emails to get the full story.*

The only reason why I'm writing about this at all is because Rach feels scorned. She's hurt and confused. I really hate that! I've been there. I don't want her to go through this. I told her that because I felt hurt and confused and judged, I made the decision to stop going to church three years ago. And that's the reason I've been afraid to really search for another church home. I don't want Rach to feel like she can't go to church anymore. More importantly, I don't ever want her to question her faith.

I told her that these last three years I've been really searching myself and after much prayer and soul searching, I've decided that I want to be a Christian that LOVES. I will no longer be the legalistic, hypocritical Christian that I was for so many years. I'd like to think that during those legalistic years that I loved. But, looking back, I'm not so sure. I can recall conversations with my friends where I said the most awful things. *cringe* I regret how I acted.

My hope now is that I can help Rach through this confusion. Hopefully, this is where she'll come to the decision to LOVE...without all of the drama and hurt (and now regret) that I had to go through.

That's all I have to say on that subject right now. =)

Yes We Can!

2008-11-05T12:00:00.005-06:00

So, Obama won by a landslide last night. I had 6 tabs going on the laptop (CNN, Fox News, ABC news, MSNBC, arkansasmatters.com and, of course, Facebook) and I was flipping back and forth on the tv between NBC and CNN. I had my notebook ready and was jotting down states and trying to keep track of the electoral votes. I soon ditched my notebook because I just couldn't keep up with the tabbing thru webpages, flipping thru channels and the eleventy billion messages, IM's and txts from all of my friends and family. It was INSANE! And I loved every freaking minute of it. I was all alone...just me and two dogs...and I didn't care! It was amazing.

At first, it seemed like it would be like past elections...watching the results come in until about 2 a.m. Obama was rising fast, but it looked like he was holding at 207 electoral votes. I expected McCain to at least rise a little bit more before they announced Obama as the winner. And then...BAM! They were announcing "Obama has won"! I hadn't moved from the couch. I had been tracking all of the results. WHAT HAPPENED?! DID I MISS SOMETHING! HOLY FREAKING CRAP! I mean, I knew he'd win, but still...it was like...WOW. Okay, I know I'm not being profound or anything. I don't care. I was and still am, speechless. It was an amazing moment to witness. This is history folks! I will never forget last night for as long as I live. Past elections have been NOTHING compared to this. We have a black president, people! HISTORIC! Anyhoo, needless to say all the messages and IM's on facebook started blowing up. It was crazy time! One side was posting headlines about how "we better start praying for out nation now because it's all downhill from here" and how "Obama is going to take all of your money" and "now we'll be a socialist nation for sure" and "I'm moving to another country" and so on and so forth. Then the other side was saying, "I'm proud to be an American again!" and "Yes we can!" and "my faith in this country has been restored." It was so wild! It was so fun! I still haven't come down yet. =)

So, now I just have to say this: If your candidate didn't win, you will survive. This country will survive. It is NOT the end of the world. We need to support our president no matter WHO he is. I believe it is unamerican to do otherwise.

I voted! Woot!

2008-11-04T09:54:00.006-06:00

I woke up super excited this morning. I couldn't wait to get out the door and head to my voting precinct. I rushed through getting ready and taking care of the dogs. I was out the door by 7:30. I made it to Benton at 8:05 and got a parking spot up front at First Baptist Church. There were people all around the parking lot holding up signs for their particular candidate. Oooooh! I was so excited! I walked into FBC and headed to the voting room. When I walked in, I was surprised to see such a short line. There were about 6 people in front of me. I waited patiently for the cute senior citizens (is that discriminatory?) to check my name against their lists and give me my ballot. Then I waited again for a place to sit down and start voting. I wanted so badly to whip my camera out of my purse (only I didn't have my camera) and beg someone to take a picture of me holding my ballot. Soon a spot opened up... I rushed over, grabbed the tiny pencil and got down to business. The very first spot on the ballot was for the presidential election. I wondered why they'd put it first. I mean, isn't that a little anticlimactic? Anyhoo, I finished the "easy" ones and then moved on to the other issues. The bonds, the annexations, the taxes, etc...tedious! But, no matter how tedious, I was still excited to be voting for or against them. After I finished casting my votes, I gathered my things and headed to the cute guy (this guy just happens to be your dad's first cousin, Amy) by the ballot box. I couldn't resist striking up a conversation with him. He even gave me a sticker! I'm soooo special. *wink* After I left FBC, I headed straight to Starbucks for my free coffee! Woot! It's been a very exciting morning! The only thing that could have made it better would have been having a friend there to be silly with me. Oh well...I entertained myself.

My ballot just before I attacked it.

Moi...after I voted. Is that a halo?! Heh.

My sticker!

A stupid truck in the church parking lot. It says, "A vote for Obama is a vote for satan." People like that make me angry. I don't care who you vote for. You have a right to your own opinion.

Free coffee. Loves it!

Now I'm at work...watching the clock. Waiting for 5:30 to get here so I can rush home, take care of the dogs and then plant myself in front of the tv to watch the returns. I'm so excited!

GO VOTE!

2008-11-03T12:15:00.005-06:00

It is your civic duty! Go do it!

Besides, this is a historic election! Don't you want to be a part of history?

Who's it gonna be? The most liberal senator...not to mention a major rookie? Or a really old dude that's a lot like Bush?

I love election years! It's sooooo exciting. I probably won't sleep much tomorrow night because I'll be glued to the tv watching the returns. I'm also super interested in seeing how the Congressional elections go. Will we have a 60/40 split? Personally, I hope not. I think we need a balance in congress. But, what do I know?

Halloween...

2008-11-03T10:37:00.010-06:00

I was sick last week. Boooo! So, I didn't do much this Halloween. I did go by the Landon's house to see my kiddos costumes. See below.

Shaebaby was a box of popcorn. She won first place in the church's costume contest!

KK was a bubble bath. Super cute!

Jessie was Belle. She hearts princesses.

Me & Rach in our non costumes. Don't judge me by this pic! Hehe. I was super sick. *tears*

Friday night, after Rach got off work (at 1:30 am!!! So, I guess it was really Saturday morning.) she came over to spend the night at my place. KK was already with me. Our plan was to watch Scream and make "Sam & Ralfie" videos (I'll explain those), but it was so late/early when Rach got there that KK was already passed out and I was fading fast! Rach and I decided to nix the move and just make the videos.

Okay, "Sam & Ralfie". These are characters that we invented a couple years ago. We were hanging out at the laundry mat and we were bored. So, we decided to make stop motion animation videos with my cell phone. It was hilarious. Of course, we're easily amused by ourselves, so other people may not find it as funny. Some people just dont get us. *shaking head* Anyhoo, Rach found the "Sam & Ralfie" videos on her computer and she decided we needed to make more with our advanced technology (digital cameras). It's pretty genius if you ask me. Sam is always asking his friend, Ralfie, if he wants to do stuff (like get a dog or go trick or treating). Ralfie always answers, "I'm down." Then stuff happens and things don't go Ralfie's way and he always says, "Screw democracy." In fact, those are the only two phrases that Ralfie ever says. It makes no sense and it's completely hilarious. Rach and I made five "Sam & Ralfie" videos that night. OH THE HILARITY! I wish I had taken pictures of our "Sam & Ralfie" characters, but I didn't...and I won't be back home for over a week. *tears*

KK messing around with these eyes that I cut out of my netflix envelope! =)

Rach doing the same. We are easily amused!

Even though I was sick, I decided to go ahead and go to The 99 like I had originally planned. I was so excited about it. Their website said it was the "ultimate near death experience". Steph and I got there at 6:05 and waiting for an hour and a half! And we were the first group in line! On most nights, the wait was 3 hours...which is why we got there so early. Anyhoo, Steph and I entertained ourselves while we were waiting by acting super goofy. Not surprising...I know. At one point, I told Steph that I was soooo scared and that I was probably going to get saved FIVE TIMES while I was in there! (Thank you Amy!) I really was scared. I had heard (granted from young peeps) that it was super scary. Like scare the Jesus in you scary (which is their point). So, I was really expecting a lot from them.

Sigh.

I didn't love it. I mean, there were a couple "scenes" that were awesome, but overall it was a let down. I do think people should go through it if it comes to their area, but def try to get a free ticket. Steph and I didn't pay so I really can't complain.

Steph and I waiting in line at The 99. I couldn't seem to get myself into the pic.

The place where Rach works had a haunted house. Apparently it was ranked # 1 in Arkansas. Rach said it was so scary that she was scared when she went thru with the lights on! I had a free ticket to that one also, but in the end I chickened out! =) Maybe next year!

Bragging...

2008-10-28T16:26:00.003-05:00

My kiddo, Rach, won a full tuition, room & board scholarship! Woot! She is the awesome.

I heart this pic of her. =)

Here are some other pics...

Me & KK at Band Night. She's on the flag line.

Rach and I waiting for HSM3 to start.

Lava...she's so crazy!

Me + KK = Pals!

Cheetos

2008-10-28T09:16:00.002-05:00

Why are you so tasty?!

Workin' the new hair...

2008-10-21T09:33:00.002-05:00

Haha. Cause I'm at work... *rolling eyes*

Why do I do this to myself?!

2008-10-20T10:17:00.002-05:00

My hair was fine! Just fine! I was happy with the color, but then my mom says, "that color makes you look like your homely twin sister." ACK! Even though I'm 31 years old and my own woman...I still let what my mom says affect me. So, what did I do? I dyed my hair. And it was okay. Kinda of a weird reddish blonde color. I didn't love it, but it would have been okay if I'd left it alone. But I didn't leave it alone! GRRR! I dyed it super dooper dark this weekend and now I really hate it! I want to wear hats again until I can safely get it back to my light brown natural color. SIGH. Why do I do this to myself?!

Hair Insanity...

2008-10-14T09:06:00.012-05:00

I've been sick of my hair for a long time. It was too long and the ends were split and dry. I wore it up EVERY SINGLE DAY. Last week, I finally broke down and make an appointment for a cut. It was supposed to be this Thursday. Unfortunately, I couldn't wait that long!!!!

Last Friday, I went to lunch with Rach. While we were eating, I was complaining about how awful my hair was. How I can't ever wear it down. How I even had to wear a hat that day to cover up the awfulness! I told her that I had an appt for next Thurs, but I wasn't sure if I could wait that long. She said, "Why don't you just go next door to Great Clips? I got a hair cut there for $13!" Um, $13!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

Hells yeah!

So, I kinda freaked out and went next door as soon as we were finished eating. SIGH. You get what you pay for. =( I think I hate my hair now. The woman cut 6 inches off the length and layered my hair to death. Granted, I sat there and let her do it, but DANG! I don't love it at all. I feel like I have the hair of a 40 y/o woman. *tears* My only consolation is that my hair grows FAST. So, hopefully it'll be better in a couple months.

\
This is the old hair on a good day. Of course, you can't see the dry, crunchy ends here.

This is me trying to cover up the bad hair last Friday. I love my hats, but it's pretty bad when you HAVE to wear a hat to cover up.

The new hair after the layer nazi got a hold of it. Ick! It looks like an old lady hair cut. And yeah, my face looks like crap too. That's why it's scribbled out. =)

She gave me bangs. *shaking head* What do I do with bangs?! They're bugging the crap outta me.

Okay. So, this is me...happy that I found a solution to the bad cut. Pull the bangs back and flat iron the rest. It almost looks like my old hair. =)

All of my griping aside, I am glad that all that hair is gone. I feel so much lighter. SIX FREAKING INCHES YA'LL! I barely have to use any shampoo now. And it takes two seconds to blow dry. So, I guess I'm not too bad off. I'll just be happier when it's a little bit longer.

_____________________________________________

In other news... I've finished three scarves now. Yay me! I've learned two different stitches so far on the long looms. I still havent' mastered the round looms. I plan to work on that this weekend. In the meantime, those scarves are so easy to make. I can whip one out in a couple hours now. Woot!

Work...

2008-10-09T10:31:00.005-05:00

We had a wedding shower for one of our girls last night. I took some pics and thought I'd show off our team.

This is Kristina, the guest of honor. She's the newest Liver Transplant Coord. She's a Godsend! I wish I could clone her!

Seth - PharmD, Karen - Social Worker, Valerie - Kidney Program Coord, Denise - Liver Financial Coord., Sona - Adm Assit.

The crazy hostess! She's sooooo wild and I love her! This is Paula - In patient nurse coord.

Sue, my supervisor. She's a kidney transplant coord. I love this pic cause she's kicked back and chillaxin'! =) She's British and says cute things like "trousers" and "queue".

Cake!

Food!

Prezzies! This is Kristina with my "classy" gift. Margarita set. I even threw in the tequila, mixer and salt. I was a little embarrased because everyone else got her something nice. But...who cares! My prezzie was fun. =)

Love this pic. Paula in the middle is telling a ridiculously dirty story and Sue is dying laughing. That's Fadelle on the far left. She's another kidney transplant coord. She's our mother hen.

Pals!

You know what I hate?

2008-10-08T10:03:00.003-05:00

Effing fake complements!

"You have such a pretty face."

Eff you and your effing fake complements! I'd rather you not say anything at all. Grrrrrrrrr!

I'm getting back on my diet now.

*tears*

Happy Birthday, Logan!

2008-10-08T10:01:00.003-05:00

Logan turned 25 yesterday. The whole fam went to Copeland's in Little Rock to celebrate. Fun times!

My First Knitting Creation!

2008-10-06T09:48:00.005-05:00

I finished my first scarf! It's beautiful...if I do say so myself. =) And it's so soft. And most important...it was EASY! I heart the Knifty Knitter.

I love this yarn. It has several different shades of green. I bought this same type of yarn in four different colors. Next up...shades of brown. I am very excite!

Now I just need to master the hat...

Other than finishing my first knitting project, I had a pretty boring weekend. I worked late on Friday, slept late on Saturday and then worked late again Saturday night. After work, I met up with "my kids" for a movie. We went to see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. It was pretty fabulous. Of course, I'm a fan of Michael Cera. No one does awkward-awesome like him. Plus, the soundtrack is fantastic.

Yesterday I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Another funny movie from Judd Apatow's group. I might be biased. I love everything they've done since Freaks & Geeks. Anyhoo, you'll see Jason Segel in full frontal mode, so beware. =) Speaking of the Apatow group of peeps...I just started watching Undeclared. I missed it when it actually aired years ago. Anyhoo...it does not disappoint.

And that's all folks. Another extremely unexciting weekend in my life. Woot!

Craftiness...

2008-09-30T09:58:00.009-05:00

Okay people. I'll be the first to admit my life is not a hot bed of sexy time! I usually spend every night curled up on the couch with my dog watching tv. Woot! Also, I spend a lot of that time mindlessly stuffing food into my mouth. Boo! So, I decided to get crafty to stop the mindless munching. Plus, I'm a dork and like making stuff. When I was in college, I would make super phat hemp necklaces and patchwork purses and hippie skirts, etc... But I digress.

I went to Wal-mart a while back and went crazy in the craft aisle. I bought cheap yarn and crochet needles and knitting needles and lots of "how to" books. I taught myself how to cast on and how to do a single knit stitch. I'm not exactly comfortable holding the knitting needles though. So, I decdided to put them down for a while. Next I started trying to read crochet patterns. Meh. It's not that easy for me. So, being the impatient person that I am, I tossed the book aside and just started crocheting. I tried making a scarf, but after a few million rows I noticed that my scarf was getting skinnier and skinner. *shaking head* I pulled it all out! That's the fabulous thing about crocheting and knitting... If you mess up, you can just pull it all out! It's not like sewing where if you mess up you're pretty much screwed.

Last night I moved on from traditional knitting and crocheting and broke out this baby!

It's a Knifty Knitter! Hehe. Basically you just wrap yarn around the pegs and then use the hook to "knit". It's pretty fabulous. I watched recorded episodes of House and Fringe and Survivor while I made a hat. Now that's my idea of a good time. *rolling eyes* No, seriously, it was kinda fun.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to share my craftiness. I'm sure you'll be on the receiving end of my experiements. For example, I may make a million hats for Bayley until I feel comfortable moving on the the next project. =)

Next up...the long loom:

I just went back to proof this post. OMG. I'm such a dork. =)

Busy Weekend

2008-09-22T10:03:00.009-05:00

Rach, KK and I went to the BHS game on Friday night.

We didn't really care so much about the football part of the game. We were there to support the band. We even made our own tshirts. This is KK modeling the front of the shirt.

And the back...

KK sat with us for a while...but soon ditched us to hang with her pals. She's quite the social butterfly.

Rach and I saw someone we knew...and did NOT want to talk to. This is us being scared that she might actually join us. She did...but we ran her off by totally ignoring her. GASP! We're so mean.

Then my most favoritest peeps showed up! ABB and SBB! Woot!

ABB and Rach were instant BFF's!

I spent lots of time holding CBB #2.

Pals!

Rach's BFF is the drum major in the BHS band. This is Mariah...drum major-ing. =)

The BHS band.

Mariah came to hang out with us during 3rd quarter. She was very upset because she "dropped 3 beats"...whatever that means. This is Rach and Mariah being sad over the lost beats. Only...Mariah couldn't stop smiling after I asked her to "be sad".

Rach modeling Mariah's hat.

This is Rach, ABB, SBB and CBB being shocked that BHS actually won the football game. (Actually this pic was taken much earlier in the night, but it works here in my picture story!)

________________________________________

Also this weekend... I took Sam to the dog park for the very first time. He didn't quite know how to react. He didn't run around and play like I expected him to. I think he was overwhelmed by all the dogs (BIG DOGS) that were there. We didn't stay long because ginormous mosquitoes were eating us alive!!!

Sam...sitting on the bench next to his mommy.

He spent most of his time up on this log...watching the action around him.

Getting to know the other dogs.

I'm not sure if I'll take him back. The dog park is a long way from my house and he didn't really enjoy himself. I think I'll stick to frequent play dates in our own house. =)

Lalalalalalala...

2008-09-15T10:01:00.013-05:00

I don't have much to write about. I just felt like posting. So, for lack of a better topic...this is what's going on in my life right now:

This is Tom Hanks. I called him Hank. I was going to adopt him, but after a 7 day trial period I realized that he wasn't going to fit with my family. Although he is the sweetest dog, he was just way too high energy. He needed more exercise and room than I could give him.

Hopefully he'll find a forever home with a fenced in back yard so he can run out all of that energy. Sam and I loved Hank very much and were so sad to see him go. But...I just couldn't have him ripping my apartment to shreds while I was at work everyday.

To solve the problem (of needing a buddy for Sam), I've just decided to have a lot of playdates. This weekend my neighbor came over with her two dogs and two more dogs that she was dog sitting. So, Sam had FOUR buddies to play with. This week, Sam will spend the day with a friend of mine and her doggies while I work. Playdates and walks should keep Sam plenty happy.

This is what makes me happy! Sitting on the porch swing, reading my book while Sam checks out what's going on in the neighborhood! BTW, I'm reading the 4th book in the Twilight series. I can't wait for the movie!

Fabric is my newest obsession! I just bought these three fabrics to make throw pillows. I plan to get several yards of the top fabric to make curtains for my living room. That is...if I don't fall in love with some other fabric first! =) I knew that I wanted some loud, funky fabrics for my living room, but I couldn't find anything in stores. So, I started searching the Etsy site and found Amy Butler fabrics. I looooove them! I looooove Etsy! I looooooove Amy Butler! I bought an Amy Butler design book and plan to make all kinds of cool stuff. Bags, pillows, quilts, etc... I'm feeling major artsy inspiration right now! I've bought the stuff to learn how to crochet and knit. So, I'll also be making scarves and hats. Woot! Yay craftiness!

I'd like to take some classes at the Arkansas Extended Learning Center. I was so excited to discover their website. There are tons of classes I'd like to take: Sewing, crochet, knitting, photography, creative writing... SO MANY! Unfortunately I don't have the money to take all of the classes, so...one at a time! I'm going to take the beginning sewing class first.

Anyhoo, I'd better get to work. I just felt like a rambling post today. Yay!

Bob Dylan 8-26-08

2008-08-28T11:21:00.006-05:00

In case you didn't already know, Bob Dylan is my absolute fave. =) He came to LR Tuesday night and I had great seats in the pit. I had a perfect, up close view of my main man. Unfortunately cameras were not allowed. I did sneak my camera in anyway...cause I'm a rebel like that, but when it came down to it I was too afraid to snap any real pics. There were security guys everywhere! =( Here are the pics that I did take:

Before the concert, Caleb, Amanda and I went to Sticky Fingerz for happy hour. We had a blast drinking, chatting and...playing Uno. =) Note Caleb's poker face.

Caleb

Manders & Court

Very dark pic of Bob (far right) with my camera.

Tiny pic of Bob from my phone.

Manders and I after the show. Remember in Wayne's World when Wayne & Garth had back stage passes to the Alice Cooper concert? And they walked around holding them up and showing them to everyone they passed? Manders and I did that with our Dylan passes. =) And no we didn't have back stage passes (I FREAKING WISH!).

Caleb and I after the show.

Progress...sorta.

2008-08-19T08:57:00.005-05:00

I went into this whole apartment upgrade with full force. The first weekend I was determined to paint the entire apartment. FIVE ROOMS! Hahahaha! That sooo did not happen. I managed to get two rooms painted and then got sick. =( That completely ruined my motivation. So, here I am...three weeks in and I've only gotten two rooms painted. *shaking head* Well, I did manage to unpack my kitchen. That's something at least. Tonight I plan to finish unpacking my living room. The cable guy is coming tomorrow and it has to be presentable. HOORAY FOR CABLE! Seriously. I've been so depressed because I missed the whole Olympics. The only thing that has gotten me through the last three weeks is Netflix. Oh. And the Twilight series.

Look at all this paint! It looks like chocolate milk!

We take painting very seriously.

My good little slaves. =)

KK took a break from painting to decorate my shoe boxes. BTW, she's sitting on my very ugly couch (now covered) that I got for FREE! Yay for free stuff!

This is what happens when you paint with no ventilation.

Jenn...helping her pal out by taping off the walls. We were getting ready to paint the trim. Sam is telling her where to put the tape, of course.

Making progress...

Sam's new favorite place to sit. You can see the difference in the trim and the window itself. I haven't painted the window yet. Whoever painted before me painted the window shut. GRRR! So, I need to pry the window open before I paint it white.

New Digs...

2008-08-15T11:52:00.007-05:00

Okay. So, I'm reluctant to post any pics of my new place. It's really, really ugly inside. It's a very old house and everything has that orangey, nicotine tint to it. I'm in the process of fixing it up. But...I guess it'd be good to show the progress as I go. So, here goes nothing...

The house. Isn't it cute?! All of the weeds in the flower beds are gone now. I love the porch swing! I sit out there and read while Sam does his business.

The living room. This picture really doesn't do it justice. It's HUGE. The walls were orange and the whole place reeks of cigarette smoke. Ick!

This is the bedroom. These pics were taken before the electricity was turned on.

The kitchen. It's really big. I love it!

The backroom...and the hideous Coca-Cola wall paper border. This is Sam's room. It has a lot of windows, so I open the blinds up and he spends the day on the futon watching the squirels.

The bathroom. Love the clawfoot tub, hate the wall paper!

So, that's my new place! It's big for one person and I know I'm going to love it as soon as I'm finished fixing it up. I'm almost finished with the living room. The paint needs to be touched up (the blue painters tape ripped off some of my work. boo!) and the carpets needs to be shampooed. That's on the agenda this weekend. I'm also going to try to finish the bedroom. I'll post pics of each room as I finish them.

That's all folks! Check back later for progress pics!

Hello Stranger

2008-08-07T09:18:00.006-05:00

It has been forever since I last blogged!! Funny how time flies...

So, the Arkadelphia thing didn't work out. I never could find a job there. Also, my friends there started going a little crazy. I did NOT want to be a part of that, so I decided to move to Little Rock instead. I work in Little Rock, so I thought it'd be great to live there. Well, that didn't work out either. I couldn't find a decent, affordable apartment. So, there goes another plan. Finally, I just decided to stay in good ole reliable Benton. =) And I guess it was meant to be because I found a place really fast.

My new duplex is great. It has a very large living room and kitchen. The bedroom is on the small side, but it's no big to me. There's also a room in the back off the kitchen. It's too small to be a real bedroom, but I put my futon back there. If I have an overnight guest, they'll have a place to sleep. In the meantime, it's Sam's room. =) I open the blinds back there so he can sit on the futon and watch what's going on in the back yard during the day. The bathroom has a claw foot tub that's rigged for a shower. That's interesting. Hehe. But, I love the character of claw foot tubs, so I'm cool with the awkwardness of the shower. Hmmm...what else... The duplex came with a full size washer/dryer. Yay! The only real negatives about the space is that there isn't a dishwasher or a fenced in back yard. I can live with that.

A chain smoker lived there before me. And apparently her (adult) kids stayed with her often and smoked in the place. So, the walls are DISGUSTING!! I tried washing them, but it was taking FOREVER. So, i just decided to paint over all the ickiness! My landlord said that if I painted the place he'd pay for all the supplies. He set it up where I could go to Sherwin Williams and buy what I wanted. So I did! I bought a 5 gallon bucket of the paint color I wanted for the walls. I'm just going to make it easy on myself and paint the entire apartment the same color. I also bought white paint for the trim and kitchen cabinets. It's going to look clean and crisp when I finish with it. I plan to post b/f and after pics! Yay! I hope the paint smell kills some of the stale, smoke smell too. *shudders*

So, that's the update, I guess. I'm still in Benton and still in the same job. =) Yay!

To make up for the not so interesting update, I'm going to post some pics of what's been going on since the last time I posted.

Saw Hayes Carll in concert @ Stickyz.

Spent a lot of time with the fam.

Did a lot of dog sitting.

Spent a lot of time in the pool (at the places I was dog sitting).

Sam DOES NOT like being in the pool.

He likes it better on dry land!

I got to hang out with my Flossie.

And babysit my Bayley.

I spent one super fun night with ABB's kids and nephew.

Kicked it "Willie Style" at the B.B. King/Willie Nelson concert.

I saw The Apples in Stereo at The Rev Room.

I spent countless hours being silly with my kiddos.

And last, but not least... I drank a TON of diet coke. Hehe.

The end.

Not Very Exciting Update on My Life...

2008-05-28T18:49:00.002-05:00

Life has been hectic the last couple of months. The day after my friend, Ashley's, funeral I got a call from work asking me not to come back for a while. They put me on paid administrative leave pending an investigation. WHAT?! I'm not going to go into the investigation, but I was cleared (Cause I'd done nothing wrong!!). Two other members of my team were not so lucky. Now we're too people short and work is SUCKING. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude though.

So, back when I was on admin leave I came up with Plan B and I've been trying to make Plan B happen. I've found a roommate. She's actually looking to buy a house in Arkadelphia right now. Or build. Either way, I'll have a decent place for Sam and I to live. I've applied for several jobs in Arkadelphia...the hospital, state jobs, admin jobs and jobs at HSU. It would be ideal if I could get a job at HSU so I could save myself money on tuition. So far, I haven't heard ANYTHING on the jobs. I'm starting to get a little nervous. I have to move out of my current house by August. Deadlines are good and bad for me. They're good b/c they actually make me get my arse moving, but they're bad b/c they give me such stress! I haven't been handling stress well lately.

Speaking of stress, I had a little breakdown after Ashley's funeral. I had to go to my doctor and get some meds. (Did I blog about this already?) First, she changed me from prozac to paxil. Anyone have any experience with paxil out there? My doc says that it doesn't promote weight gain, so we'll see... She gave me an rx of Rozerem (sleeping pill) because the anxiety is keeping me up at night. And last, she gave me an rx of Xanax. I've been staying away from the Xanax as much as possible. I'm afraid of getting addicted to it. I had a friend go to rehab b/c of a severe addiction to xanax. I don't even want to go there. I also use the sleeping pills sparingly. I don't want to be dependent on anything. I just keep the Rozerem and Xanax for emergencies.

Anyhoo...back to the job thing. So, here I am desperately searching for jobs in Arkadelphia so I can move and go back to school. I have made up my mind. That's what I'm going to do. THEN my boss tells me that she's going to give me a 10% raise starting in July. WHAT?! Now?! I've been trying to get a raise for TWO YEARS! Why now when I've finally convinced myself that it's okay to leave. I mean, I WANT to leave. I don't love my job. Why tempt me with a raise now? Sigh. Is that a sign that I SHOULDN'T move to Arkadelphia? My friend, Brian, said, "Courtney, how important is that 10% raise going to be to you in 5 years?" Um, probably not very. Cause if I continue with Plan B I'll have my bachelor's degree in 5 years and be working on my Master's.

I hate making these kinds of decisions!!!

In a way, I feel like I'm moving backwards. Back to the poor, college life. At the same time, I'm excited about starting from scratch. I'm so mixed up inside. I just want to do something GOOD. Something that I can FINALLY be proud of.

So, I'm in the waiting mode. I'm waiting to see if Amanda buys a house. I'm waiting to see if I get a job in Arkadelphia. I'm waiting to see if it all falls into place.

Yay waiting! (long Borat pause) NOT!!!!!!!!!!

So, that's what's up with me lately. Actually no, that's what's up with work and moving. What's up with me? Well, I've been very social lately. I've been making a point to spend time with my friends and family. Life is too short. This past weekend was memorial day. Friday night I went out to dinner with friends and then hung out with my pal, Caleb, at his house. Saturday and Sunday, I spent time in Hot Springs with Amanda and her son. Monday my mom and I went to see What Happens In Vegas (hilarious) and then did some shopping. Fun times! I'll post some pics tomorrow when I'm back at work. I don't have any of those pics on my home pc.

Okay. That's all folks! Sorry for the long, stream of consciousness post.

par-TAY!

2008-05-04T19:27:00.006-05:00

I had the busiest Saturday ever! I'm so tired right now that I'm 'bout to PASS OUT. I'm trying to hold on though. If I take a nap, I'll never sleep tonight. Anyhoo, this is how it all went down...

Saturday afternoon, I went to Hot Springs for Torcan's 4th birthday party. Torcan is Ashley's son. He was the only kid there (besides his newborn sis), but he still had a blast. His daddy, Jeremy, made some yummy spaghetti and there was an ice cream cake. He RACKED UP on gifts. Here are a few pics:

Torcan opening gifts. Thomas the train was the theme of the day.

Torcan posing next to his favorite bday prezzie: a Spiderman helicopter!

His baby sister, Brannagh.

Me...in my party hat! =)

After Torcan's party, my friend, Amanda, and I headed to Little Rock for another birthday party. This one was for my friend, Sarah, at Cozymel's. I heart Mexican food & Mexican beer! Here are a couple pics from that party:

Sarah & Amanda

A shot of the crowd...

Amanda and I

Amanda and I left Sarah's party and headed to my friend Caleb's house. We parked there and then the three of us walked downtown to the Rev Room for a concert. THE AVETT BROTHERS! YAY! We met two more of our pals there: Kristy & Angie. Fun times! We danced our booties off. Here are a couple pics and a video:

Kristy, me, Amanda, Angie, Caleb

The Avett Brothers

Walking home after the show.

So, after that whirlwind day...I'M BEAT! I think I might go to bed at 8:00 tonight!! I might be a little too old for that kind of partying! NAW! It was too much fun.

Early life crisis?

2008-04-30T02:17:00.004-05:00

I've been having some crazy thoughts lately. After three deaths and now work stress...I feel like I'm having an early life crisis! Everything I've been doing with my life lately seems ridiculous. I'm not happy in my job. I'm not exactly happy with my living situation. Not that I'm unhappy with my roommate, just the fact that I'm renting a room in her house. That sucks. I'm 31 years old and feel like I'm going nowhere.

When this work stress popped up, I started freaking out and came up with "Plan B" <--hehe. clever name, huh? As my friend, Angie, said...it's so original! That's just how I roll. Anyhoo, Plan B is this:

Quit my job

Cash out my 403b

Pay off my debt (except for car & student loans)

Move to Arkadelphia

GO BACK TO SCHOOL!

OMG! I can't believe I'm even considering this! It's so scary. Quit the job I've had for FIVE YEARS. I'm comfortable there. I feel like I have job security (kinda). I have great medical/vision/dental insurance and a good retirement plan. Sigh. But, I'm tired of being comfortable. I'm ready to start LIVING.

I was scared to tell my mom what I was thinking. Eight years ago I left Arkadelphia at the lowest point of my life. I had spent the three previous years (98-00) in a drunken haze. I was afraid my mom would say, "NO WAY! You can't go back there!" Not that I need my mom's approval b/c I am an adult. But I NEED my mom's approval! =) She totally surprised me. She said, "Courtney, you're not the same person you were eight years ago." WOOT! It's true! I have changed. I can handle this. Plus, she totally echoed my thoughts...I'm single, no kids, no ties...just DO IT.

So, even if this work stress turns out okay for me. I think I'm going to quit and go back to school anyway. Is that crazy?! Tomorrow I'm going to fill out applications for employment at Henderson State Univ. I found out that Henderson employees are exempt from tuition. That would be ideal for me! I'm going to apply for a library and a secretary position. It's a major step down from what I'm doing now, but at this point I just don't care! As long as I have enough money to pay my bills, I'll be happy.

Anyhoo...it's 2:20 a.m. and I really need to go to bed. I'm pretty sure this post isn't even coherent, but I'm too tired to go back and proof. =)

OMG! OMG! Just as I was about to sign off, a Henderson State University commercial came on t.v.! Interesting...

Celebrating Ashley Wynn...

2008-04-26T09:55:00.004-05:00

My reason for going to Star City was painful, but I loved getting to see my "Star City Kids" again. I feel awful for letting so many years pass without seeing them. I took almost 200 pictures while I was there. I'll spare you from having to look at ALL of them. =) I'll post the group pics here and you can go to my myspace page to see most of the others.

Back row: Terry, Charlotte, Sam, Nate. Front row: Howie, Amanda, Jonda, Layni, Christy, Cody

Back row: Me, Hussam, Dave S, Josh J, Jory, John. Front row: April, Amanda, Simmy, Christy

Back row: Dave, John, Jory, Sam, Cheris (?). Middle row: Hussam, Christy, Simmy, Jeremy, Aja. Front row: April and Amanda

Ashley Rene Wynn

2008-04-26T09:26:00.003-05:00

Ashley Rene Wynn, 28, of Hot Springs died Sunday in LIttle Rock. She was born November 8, 1979 in Pine Bluff to Mike Wynn and the late Sandra Kay Nichols Wynn. She worked for Lake Ouachita State Park as an Interpreter. She was a member of Trinity United Methodist church at Crigler.

Preceding her in death was her maternal grandmother, Rose Nichols.

Survivors include Jeremy Lowry of Hot Springs; father and step-mother, Mike and Allison Wynn of Sheridan; son, Torcan Lowry of Hot Springs; daughter, Brannagh Lowry of Hot Springs; brother, Scott Wynn of Star City; paternal grandparents, Joe T. and Faye Wynn of Star City; maternal grandfather, Bobbie L. Nichols of Star City.

*Obit courtesy of Griffin Services

FYI, if you're wondering why I keep posting obits... I do it because some people never got a chance to see them. Like this one...I had to have the funeral home make me a copy b/c I couldn't find the obit anywhere on the interwebs. Now if someone googles Ashley's name they can find it here. BTW, I'm upset that they didn't write more about Ashley. They could have at least listed her palbearers. Her best friends: Sam Shepherd, Steven Howie, Simmy Flora, John Green...
...and two more that I can't think of right now. I'll edit this later. And if you think of them before I do just leave me a comment.

Ashley was a writer. You can check out her stories here.

Dreams...

2008-04-22T19:48:00.007-05:00

I'm struggling. I don't know what God is doing. Why all these deaths?

I can deal with my Grandmomma's death. It was unexpected, but I know that she lived a full life. I know without a doubt she's in heaven. She's with my Pawpaw again. And, she's not in pain anymore. That makes me happy...even though I miss her so much.

Jeff...it was so hard. It's still a little unreal that he's gone. I mean, if he had been a second earlier or a second later...that woman's car wouldn't have hit him. Why did it happen?

And now Ashley! This really breaks my heart. Ashley was only 28 years old. She just had a baby! She has a 3 year old! Why Ashley? Those kids need their momma. Torcan may not remember Ashley and Branna will never know her. It is too much for me. I don't understand why God allowed her to die. If she could have hung on a little bit longer, she could have had surgery and been okay. Why her? Why not someone like me? I don't have any kids. I have no ties to this earth. I would gladly take her place. It just doesn't make sense to me.

All these questions are running through my head and I haven't been able to sleep. I feel like I'm going a little crazy. And now to actually talk about dreams... I had a dream a few days before Ashley died and it's really haunting me.

I was in a brick building with my immediate and extended family plus a lot of strangers. We were in the middle of a war. Somehow we knew we were about to be bombed and we were going to die. People were freaking out...crying and wanting to pray or "get right with God". They asked for a volunteer to lead them. I volunteered. I asked them to form two groups. One for those that already knew about Jesus and the other for those who had never heard about him. Only four people moved into the latter group. I went to those who knew Jesus first. I went through the ABC's of salvation real fast and then prayed with them. Then I left them to pray on their own. As I was walking toward the four people who didn't know Jesus, I looked up at the windows and saw a bomb heading straight for us. I wasn't going to make it to them before the bomb hit us and we died. I had a fleeting thought before I woke up, "Oh God. Why didn't I go to them first?"

When I got the call that Ashley had died, I freaked out a little. Was God giving me a warning in my dream that I would soon have an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus...and not to MISS that opportunity? Was I supposed to tell Ashley? If so, I failed. Big time.

*edited to add: I have no idea how Ashley felt about Christianity. Obviously I never had that conversation with her. The obit said she was a member of a Methodist church...which means that she actually went to church at one point in her life (as a kid?) and has heard the gospel. That comforts me. I hope that doesn't offend our friends. I just like to KNOW that my precious friends are in heaven.

I have so many regrets. I feel like I'm wasting my life in my self centered little "Courtney world". These last three weeks have made me wake up a little I think. Maybe God's telling me to get my head out of my ass and start LIVING. These last three weeks have taught me that life is short...and uncertain.

I wish I knew exactly what it was God was doing. I have no clue. But, I do know that I can't take another friend's death. I'm worn out.

I don't know how much more of this I can take!

2008-04-20T20:29:00.006-05:00

Another one of my college friends died today. Her name is Ashley Wynn.

She complained about having trouble breathing and Jeremy (her husband...kinda) took her to the hospital in Hot Springs. They initially diagnosed her with blood clots in her lungs and heart. They gave her blood thinners. She kept getting worse and eventually transfered her to UAMS in Little Rock. UAMS ruled out the blood clots and instead said she had a hole in her heart. When I saw Ashley on Friday in the ICU, she said she was feeling much better. They were planning to do surgery to fix the hole in her heart, but had to wait on Medicaid to approve the surgery. When I said bye to her, I thought I'd be seeing her again on Monday. Saturday night, I got a text message saying she was getting worse and that they were putting her on the ventilator. I prayed and reassured myself that it was okay...that sometimes they put patients on ventilators to give the body a rest. So the body isn't stressed and it can heal. This morning I got a call saying that she had a heart attack and that she didn't make it.

She just had a baby 10 days ago. She also has a 3 y/o son. She was only 28 years old.

It's only been three weeks since Jeff died.

And my Grandmomma.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Ashley Wynn

Your head will explode from the cuteness...

2008-04-17T09:47:00.004-05:00

Jenn and I did some grocery shopping last night. I loved pushing little Bayley around in the shopping cart. People would smile and coo at her when we walked by. I wanted to claim her as my own! =)

Anyhoo, I couldn't resist lifting up her blanket and getting this shot of her widdle feetsies. They're so cute!

ACL

2008-04-15T12:21:00.005-05:00

OMG! I WANT TO GO! OMG! I want to go to at least ONE music festival this year. *tears*

2008 ACL Lineup:
Foo Fighters
Robert Plant & Alison Krauss
Beck
Erykah Badu
Patty Griffin
Iron & Wine
Neko Case
Band of Horses
The Swell Season
Gillian Welch
The Black Keys
Jakob Dylan
Okkervil River
Vampire Weekend
Ingrid Michaelson
Stars
Jenny Lewis
M. Ward
Yeasayer
and so many more!!!!

A Shower of Babies!

2008-04-13T13:07:00.008-05:00

I threw a baby shower for Jenn & Joe yesterday...in honor of Bayley Elizabeth. Fun times! Here are some pics...

The guest of honor...

The Tarvers!

Moi

My lovely centerpiece.

The food.

Cupcakes

Our great pal, Angie, holding Bayley.

Angie and her baby, Presley Rae.

Pretty Presley (a.k.a Flossie). She loves the camera.

I heart my Flossie!

Presley and Bayley are pals! They're holding hands!

Becca holding Bayley. Becca's engaged!

I love this baby!

For more pics...visit Jenn's page.

Old Pictures...

2008-04-09T17:17:00.004-05:00

This past Sunday some of the kids and grandkids gathered to clean out my Grandmomma's house. We got majorly distracted by a box of old pictures. We sat in the floor for over an hour and divided the pics up. Here are a few that I was able to scan:

Me (baby) with my Grandmomma and cousins.

Mom in HS. She still has that same personality!

My "bio-dad" in HS.

The wedding announcement in the Lonoke paper. When my mom married my "bio-dad"...

Me with "Bio-dad".

My fave pic of myself!

Me with Mom at Willow Springs.

Chubby Cheeks! Still have 'em!

Me with mom and "bio-dad" right before their divorce.

Dad in HS.

Family portrait...one of the first after "we" married Dad.

Me with Dad.

Me with Mom.

Me with Mom at the lake.

I was a cute little flower child.

Moving On...

2008-04-07T20:39:00.007-05:00

Jeff - I'm so thankful that I had the chance to know Jeff. His death still isn't completely real to me. I'm sure that it will take a long time to get over it. It's hard to lose a friend so young. And if it's this hard for me to lose a friend, I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose a husband, brother or son. On the positive side, I'm glad that I got to see college pals this past week. I hope that we are able to keep in touch this time around.

Grandmomma - I'm pretty torn up about her death. My mom called me a few weeks ago and asked me to take off work and go with her to take Grandmomma to the doctor. I declined because it was last minute and I was afraid I would have gotten in trouble at work. I really wish I would have gone! I could have hugged her neck and told her I loved her one last time.

I love my Grandmomma and Pawpaw so much! I practically lived with them from birth to three years old. When my mom remarried and we moved to Benton, we still visited as often as we could. From my Grandmomma, I inherited the love of diet coke, old movies and musicals and craftiness (sewing). For as long as I can remember, my Grandmomma always said, "When I die, you're getting all of my movies and the cabinet your Pawpaw built for them." They're all old VHS tapes...most of the movies recorded off of the t.v. My aunts actually thought I wouldn't want them. WHAT?! Of course I want them! I will watch every freaking one of them...while I drink diet coke and try to sew something. =) I can not put into words the void I feel in my life right now. I just want one more moment with Grandmomma and Pawpaw. I love them and miss them so much!

The most important thing I learned this week is this: Don't let a moment go buy without letting your friends and family know how much you love them. You may not have tomorrow.

In lighter news, I got to visit with the Tarver's last night. Jenn let me hold Bayley for over an hour! I fed her, burped her, rocked her, etc... I couldn't quit staring at her. She's so pretty. I threatened to take her home with me. =)

I'm throwing a baby shower for Jenn and Bayley this weekend. I promise to take lots of pics!

Oh ABB! I wish you lived closer so I could throw you a shower too. *hugs*

Mary Chloe Elmore (January 4, 1926 - April 2, 2008)

2008-04-03T15:55:00.002-05:00

*obit written by my mother.

Our mother, Mary Chloe Elmore, age 82 of Mayflower, a former resident of Lonoke, went home to be with the Lord April 2, 2008. A member of First Baptist Church of Mayflower, she is preceded in death by our father and her husband of 51 years, Lewis Earl Elmore, our eldest brother, Jimmy Lee Elmore, one of their grandsons, Ricky Childress and two of their great-grandchildren, Phillip Reid Barker and David Barker, Jr. Our mother is survived by one son and daughter-in-law, Lewis, Jr. and Wanetta Elmore of Paola, Kansas; one daughter-in-law Karen Elmore of Winslow, Arizona; four daughters and sons-in-law, Susan and Eugene Pate of North Little Rock; Terry and Anthony Dycus of Mayflower, Robin and Joe Johnson of Roland, and Penny and Tim Landreth of Benton. She is loved and will be greatly missed by 18 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren, as well as her church family. Prior to relocating to Mayflower, mom owned her own beauty shop, Chloe’s Clip N’ Curl Corner in Lonoke for 25 years. Mom worked for ten years and retired from Maybelline in North Little Rock, as well as ten years as a cook for Mayflower School District. All throughout her life mom loved to sew and spent many hours at her sewing machine making an abundance of items for her family and members of her community including prom and wedding dresses, baby blankets, and many other cherished items. Our mother was famous for her homemade yeast rolls, cinnamon tea rings, her sassy attitude, as well as her passion for life. The family will receive friends 6-8 p.m. Thursday, April 3 at the funeral home. Funeral Services will be 2:30 p.m. Friday, April 4 at Boyd Funeral Home, Lonoke with interment in Sunset Memorial Gardens. Serving as pallbearers will be her grandsons, Brandon Childress, Adam Pate, BJ Johnson, Tim Landreth, Logan Landreth and Stephen Barker.

TRUE STORY.

2008-04-02T19:10:00.003-05:00

I was on my way to Jeff's funeral this morning and my brother called me.

Me: Hello?
Timmy: Whatcha doing?
Me: I'm on my way to a funeral.
Timmy: A funeral?! Oh man, that's messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Timmy: Grandmomma died this morning.
Me: *bleeped*

Yes, folks. It's true. I was on my way to say goodbye to a dear friend and found out that my grandmother died this morning! It has been one hell of a week to say the least.

Weird fact: My grandmother died today: April 2nd. My grandfather died on April 2nd, 2003.

Jeffery Allen Westcott (June 23, 1978 - March 29, 2008)

2008-04-01T12:22:00.003-05:00

Mr. Jeffery Allen Westcott, age 29, of Malvern died Saturday March 29, 2008. He was born June 23, 1978 in Waukesha, Wisconsin. Jeffery was a manager at Starbucks in Bryant and worked part time as a cook at Razorback Pizza in Little Rock. He was a member of St. Luke Lutheran Church in Malvern.

He was preceded in death by his father, Lloyd Westcott, grandparents, Burell and Helen Westcott and John and Elma Norris.

Survivors, wife, Samantha Westcott, Malvern; mother, Judy Westcott, Malvern; step-daughter, Kara Hunker, Malvern; brother, John Westcott.

Memorial services will be 10:00 AM Wednesday at Ashby Funeral Home Chapel. Minister will be Pastor Kenneth Burton.

In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Earth Day Foundation in his name.

*obit from Ashby's funeral home.

Long answer to ABB's comment on my last post...

2008-03-31T16:12:00.004-05:00

No visitation. He's being cremated. The funeral will be tues or wed. I'll call Sam tonight and find out the deets. Then this Saturday there will be another get together at Sam's house so all the people that couldn't come yesterday can come and pay their respects.

Sam and Jeff got married in Oct of 2006. They dated for at least a year before that. And, of course, we were all friends in college.

Another awful thing...Sam's a widow at 30 y/o. Her sister was also a widow at 30!! It's been almost 6 years since Jennifer's husband died. Can you believe it happened twice in ONE FAMILY. They're just wrecked.

I'm dealing by not dealing. Yesterday I was in shock. Then I was drinking and trying to catch up with old friends. This morning I woke up and my mind wouldn't quit! I didn't even shower... I just got dressed and left for work. The drive here was awful. I couldn't stop thinking about little things... like Jeff's laugh. I'll never hear his infectious laugh again. I'll never hear him call me "Corn Dawg" again. Weird little things. So, now...to not think about things, I'm just working. Zoning out. The day of the funeral will be the worst.

We'll Miss You Jeffro!

2008-03-31T11:56:00.003-05:00

Court, Sam, Dave, Jeff

It was always the four of us in college. Years later Sam and Jeff got married. It was no surprise to us because even back then we knew that Jeff was in love with Sam. Jeff had the best laugh. He was the life of the party. He was so nice and everybody wanted to be his friend. He was an amazing stepfather to Sam's daughter, Kara. He was just freaking awesome. =)

Jeff died on Saturday. He was driving home from work and a woman going the other direction somehow lost control of her car, crossed the median and hit him head on. She walked away with scratches.

I found out yesterday about noon. I was in shock. I couldn't even fathom this world without Jeff in it. Last night we went to Razorback Pizza (where Jeff and Sam both worked part time) and celebrated Jeff's life. Basically...we all got drunk. It was bitter sweet. Our college pals came up to join us. Most of us hadn't seen each other in years. Everyone was saying, "It's so great to see you! Wait...it actually sucks to see you right now."

Please pray for Samantha. The funeral should be tomorrow or Wednesday.

Bittersweet reunion.

Photobucket Fun...

2008-03-28T23:55:00.003-05:00

I've been slacking on the Project 365 photos...

Pop art fun on photobucket.

Family pic. Sam didn't find this as fun as I did.

Too Cute For Words!

2008-03-26T16:16:00.003-05:00

OMG! SHE'S HERE!!!

2008-03-26T10:04:00.003-05:00

BAYLEY ELIZABETH TARVER IS HERE! YAY!

(The next two pics are going to be my Project 365 pics Day 6 & 7)

Project 365 - Day 5

2008-03-24T21:24:00.002-05:00

My KK...being a silly gal!

Jiff Update...

2008-03-24T09:54:00.005-05:00

Just came from visiting her... They were supposed to let her check out today, but it turns out she does have a "touch" of preeclampsia. They're worried about her high blood pressure (although she doesn't have high blood pressure today) and the protein in her urine. They also mentioned that she'll have to be on bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy.

Pray for Jiff and Bayley!

*Just saw her again. She's so freaking bored. =) She's still having contractions, but she's not in labor. Eh?! She's in "pre-term" labor. Whatever that is. I've never had a baby, so it's all foreign to me! Jenn had an u/s today. They're saying that she's measuring 35 weeks. She'll have to be on bed rest and hopefully she can keep the bun in the oven for another couple weeks. I saw the u/s pics...so freaking cute. I saw a close up pic of Bayley's face. Her eyes were open and she has the chubbiest cheeks! Another pic showed her sucking her thumb and another showed a close up of her vajayjay! Tee hee. Jenn hopes to be discharged tomorrow, but I guess that all depends on her lab results.

**Just talked to her. THEY'RE LETTING HER GO HOME! It's all over my head. One min they're saying she can't go home...the next they're discharging her. Oh well. At least she'll get to go home and be comfy! Yay!

LOLSam/Project 365 - Day 4

2008-03-23T14:54:00.001-05:00

Jiff news/Project 365 - Day 3

2008-03-23T10:09:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was "Day 3". I don't have a picture. BUT, I have a good reason. My pal, Jenn, ended up going to the hospital for preterm labor. So, I went to see her and then ended up keeping her stepson, Z, overnight. I never had the chance to whip out my camera. So, how 'bout a little Project 365 - Day 3 Convo instead? This convo took place between me and Z (he's 5) on the way home from the hospital last night.

Me: You're so silly!
Z: I try.
Me: You try to be silly?!
Z: I practice.

Now, that's my kinda man! He's suprisingly hilarious for a 5 year old! I hope he never loses that silliness...

As for Jenn, she's okay now. I don't know all the deets. I'm sure she'll treat us to a detailed blog when she's back to work. All I know is that since at least last Thursday, she was complaining of feeling weird. And Saturday morning she noticed some spotting. She put it off for a while, but when she noticed it again she decided to call her doc. Good thing! Turns out she was in labor. Also, her blood pressure was pretty high. Preeclampsia was mentioned as a possibility, but they think it was prob just an infection. This morning when I talked to her she was feeling much better. BP is down. Labor is stopped for now and they expect her to be able to go to 37 weeks. She has to stay one more night in the hospital for observation, but she'll be coming home tomorrow. She said that Bayley has been fine thru this whole ordeal. Yay! Stay tuned for the whole story on Jenn's blog.

Death By Sausageball. No really...

2008-03-22T00:38:00.006-05:00

So, Rach and I are having our regular Fri night movie night...only we haven't watched a movie yet. =) We are DYING from all the sausage and cheese we have consumed. We had a little sausage ball cookoff. A couple of weeks ago we discovered we had two different ways to make them. So, tonight...for lack of something better to do (and eat), we made both of our versions of sausage balls. OMG. Soooo sick!

Rach's version of sausage balls:

Her Recipe:

2 c. bisquick
1 lb sausage
12 oz cheddar cheese
2/3 c milk

Preheat oven to 400. Mix milk and bisquick until doughy. Add cheese and uncooked sausage. Squish it all together. Then roll into walnut sized balls. Bake for about 20 minutes. It's different with each oven, so just make sure to keep an eye on them.

Court's version of sausage balls:

My Recipe:

3 c. bisquick

1 lb sausage (I prefer hot...)

16 oz bag cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350. Cook sausage and drain. Mix sausage, cheese and bisquick together. Roll into walnut size balls. Place on cookie sheet and bake for 20 - 30 minutes.

Winner: MINE! Hehe. I kinda cheat on mine. To make them extra tasty, I don't drain all the sausage grease and I use extra cheese. They're gut busters, but OH SO YUMMY! =)

Here's some pics of me & Rach tonight.

Court's balls are better than mine?!

Trying to get the dogs into the pic with us...

Our "Olan Mills" photo shoot. =)

Babysitting Kidneys/Project 365 - Day 2

2008-03-21T16:03:00.003-05:00

ABB's always asking me about babysitting the kidneys... =)

I don't actually babysit kidneys for a living. I work for the Liver Transplant team and sometimes help out the Kidney team. Today we have a kidney in the office. We're "taking care" of it until it's time for the surgery. It goes on a perfusion machine...I'd explain it to you, but I have no idea how it works!

Anyhoo, I took this pic to show ABB the kidney and also...to use for Project 365! Enjoy!

Project 365 - Day 1

2008-03-20T19:23:00.003-05:00

I'm a little nervous about this project now. I thought about it all day and couldn't figure out what to take a picture of! I am so not a photographer. I just point and shoot. I use my camera to catch "Kodak Moments" with me, my dogs and my pals. =) Anyhoo, I was worried about not having a good enough, cool enough pic. It's just my insecurity showing thru, I guess. Anyhoo, I ended up choosing the very last pic I took...on the shuttle bus! So, from now on I'm not going to stress it. I'm just going to catch a random moment of my day. No pressure!

Riding to the parking lot...

Project 365

2008-03-19T22:00:00.006-05:00

So, I was just making my nightly rounds of all my favorite blogs and came upon the subject of Project 365 on Bliss In Bloom. That sounds like something I'd like to do. For those of you who don't know what it is, I'm guessing it's just taking a pic and posting it for 365 consecutive days. Cool. I carry my camera with me everyday anyway, so why not?! I'm gonna do it!

You should do it too! (Jenn, I'm looking at you right now!)

The Great Shoe Debate

2008-03-15T15:34:00.008-05:00

In the end...MONEY TALKS! =)

I've been trying to decide what type of shoe to buy for working out. My workouts are mostly: walking outside, recumbant bike and sometimes a DVD. I hope to eventually run, but that's a long way off.

Anyhoo, I went to the only shoe source I had: ABB! She gave me a lot of great advice. I started researching all the shoes she suggested. My roommate mentioned she'd read a lot of good reviews about Ryka. So, we decided to check those out too. Aaaaand, she just happened to have two 30% coupons to The Foot Locker. Woot! So, we headed to The Lady Foot Locker today to check out the shoes. I looked at all the Asics and Adidas, but they were all so freaking expensive! Why is it so expensive to be healthy?! That's a whole 'nuther blog...

After checking out the first two brands on my list, I headed to the Rykas. THEY WERE ON SALE! Some were "two for $89.99" and one pair was on sale for $49.99 (originally $89.99). Hello! $49.99 plus a 30% off coupon?! You can't beat that ladies! I tried on the 9 1/2 and they felt really great...except for the fact that my feet are ginormous and I really need a 10! Of course they didn't have any 10's, so I ended up having to order a pair. Sigh. But they ship them to your house for free! Yay! These are the ones I ended up with: Ryka Women's MC2 Run.

So, in the end folks...money talks. Maybe another pair would have been better for my feet, but the Ryka's were DEFINATELY better for my bank acct!

Birthdays, Pals, Movies...

2008-03-09T21:57:00.014-05:00

This weekend I went to a bday party for one of "my kids". It was Shaebaby's 9th! Sigh. My kiddos are growning up. Instead of a big blowout, they had a small family get together at Shae's g-parents house. The big sleepover will probably be in a couple weeks. Yay!

The Birthday Girl.

Tate wouldn't let us (KK and I) get a pic of his face. Only his butt...

He attacked me with his butt. Ouch!

Shae and her best pal.

KK and I

After Shae's b-day party, I headed to my pal, Angie's, house to hang with her and Flossie (a.k.a Presley Rae). We just hung out...chatting and playing with my Flossie Bear. We also watched a movie. Fun times!

Presley Rae.

Presley and I

Here are some of the movies I've watched in the last few weeks:

Gone Baby Gone - loved it!

Margot At The Wedding - Sucked big time. Didn't even finish it.

Sydney White - This was really cute. I'm a Amanda Bynes fan. =)

Across The Universe - Brilliant! Beautiful!

Rendition - Very good. Sad.

The Martian Child - Sweet movie. I heart John Cusack.

Good Luck Chuck - Very funny!

Mr. Woodcock - Meh.

We Own The Night - Intense! Slow at first...

The Darjeeling Limited - Funny movie. Gotta appreciate Wes Anderson's style though.

More of that white stuff!!

2008-03-07T17:50:00.007-06:00

Wow. Two snow days in ONE WEEK. That's unheard of here... Today my company declared the inclement weather policy, so I only had to work four hours! Yay! Then I rushed home to pick up Rach and go to the store. Tonight Steph, Rach and I (and the doggies, of course) are going to actually USE the fireplace, lounge around in our pj's and fuzzy socks, watch movies and eat homemade taco soup. Fun times!

Here are some pics of my snow day:

Had to dig out...hahaha!

Rach and I

My "child"! Loves her!

Rach's Snow Dance!

BTW, she'd kill me if she knew I'd posted this!!! Also, you might want to mute the video cause it's just loud wind and me laughing. =)

Taco Soup Recipe

1 large can diced tomatoes
2 cans rotel
1 can corn, drained
1 can black beans, drained
1 can chili beans
1 lb lean ground beef or turkey
1 package ranch dressing mix
1 package taco seasoning
1 large onion, chopped

Brown meat and drain. Stir taco and ranch seasoning into meat. Then stir in chili beans. Add black beans and corn. Then Rotel and tomatoes. You may need to add water for a soupier consistency. Cook on medium heat until soup is hot. Optional: Serve with tortilla chips, Mexican blend shredded cheese and sour cream.

*You may want to use chopped tomatoes (do those exist?) instead of diced. The diced tomatoes were too big for Steph.

*I used a bag of frozen onion instead of chopping an onion. I hate chopping onions. It always makes me cry.

*My mom says the key to great taste is to cook in “layers”. So that’s why, in my directions, I don’t just dump everything in at the same time. Take your time to stir the seasonings into the meat before adding the chili beans. Then do the same with those. I didn’t drain the chili beans because I wanted to make sure and get the full flavor in there.

*For those of you who aren’t into really spicy soups, use mild Rotel and kidney beans instead of chili beans.

This is my favorite soup! So yummy! Enjoy!

MIM

2008-03-06T15:20:00.002-06:00

Okay. I haven't been to MIM in YEARS b/c they usually have a pretty lame line up. But this year...CAT POWER WILL BE THERE! OMG! Want to go please!! =) I'm currently putting feelers out to my pals...PRAYING that someone will want to make the road trip with me.

Cat Power people!!

Sigh.

2008-03-05T13:52:00.005-06:00

I'm sad that onetruth.com is shutting down. I love their whole message/concept. I just bought a t-shirt from them called Beloved. Here's the product description:

our focus as a society feeds on beauty. it has become a goal and obsession. as girls we entangle ourselves in the latest fashion trends and the smallest sizes. however, deep down what we really want is to feel loved... to be loved. we've bought into the lie that looking beautiful will make us happier and bring us fulfilling love. but what we really need is the unconditional love of jesus. He is the one who makes us beautiful, the one who paid the price for our beauty and we need to see ourselves as He sees us. it's not as much about what we do or how we look, but who we are...and we are His beloved.

Go check out the stuff they have left.

What IS this stuff?

2008-03-04T13:19:00.004-06:00

This pic was taken this morning. I need to fix the date stamp on my camera.

This morning when I let Sam out, I was SHOCKED to see this stuff all over the ground. WHAT IS IT?! I can't recall ever seeing it before. As you can see...it's white...and it's wet and kinda powdery at the same time. I stopped short of tasting it just in case. It didn't seem to bother Sambo.

If you know what it is...please leave me a comment!!!

(wo)Manly Work

2008-03-03T09:45:00.008-06:00

I was so productive this Saturday! Yay me! I got up early to spend some time with my new brother and then headed home for some yard work. My baby, Sam, has been a bad boy since we moved. He was so used to running wild in the country, that he had to find things to occupy his time when I moved him to town. He has decided to dig lots of little holes around the yard. Steph (roommie) HATES that. So, I bought a bunch of top soil and filled in the holes. Fun times! Also, Steph thinks that Sam has been chewing on the air conditioner wires (I'm not convinced), so I'm going to put a little fence around the concrete slab.

Here's a small example of Sam's handy work. At this point, I've actually started digging so I could smooth out the holes. What you CAN'T see is the tons of tiny holes along the house to the right of the air conditioner. Sigh.

While I was digging up, smoothing out and filling holes with dirt, I put Abi (Steph's daughter) to work. The yard is HUGE and covered with sticks. I had her pick up all the sticks and put them in the burn pile. I was excited about burning stuff. I had never done it before. I talked to my dad before hand so I would know the proper way to burn. He told me to have a water hose nearby, to stay away from the house and fence, and to start with a small burn pile. Sounds easy enough, right? Hehe. Well, Steph already had a huge pile of stuff to burn and when I tried to make a small pile...the stuff didn't want to move. So, I decided to go for it. I put a match to the dry brush like stuff and OMG! that fire started blazing!! We were kinda scared at first. I watered down the grass around the burn pile in hopes that the fire wouldn't spread. =) Anyhoo, I was amazed at how quickly that pile burned down.

This is after the pile had burned down a bit. I would have gotten a pic of the huge blaze, but I was too busy trying not to burn the whole yard!!

So, that was my weekend of (wo)manly work! It wasn't bad and I felt good when the day was over. Next on the agenda...find some fencing to put around the air conditioner.

I HAS A NEW BROTHER!

2008-02-29T13:31:00.005-06:00

Meet Barlow!

Here's a little background (yippe!): A while back my brother, Tim, adopted Duke. For the first few months, Tim dropped Duke off at Mom's house everyday so he wouldn't be alone (and so that mom could potty train him). Duke and Baxley, Mom's dog, would play together. Then one day my mean brother decided that Duke was old enough to stay at his own house. So, now Baxley is alone everyday. He's so sad. Mom says he'll grab the tug-of-war toy and sit on the couch looking out the window...waiting for Duke to show up.

Because Bax was so sad, Mom decided she needed a new puppy! She worked on Dad for about a week...til he gave in. Mom looked on the internet and in the papers for the perfect doggie. She found Barlow in Conway. He was basically in the same situation as Bax. Apparently Barlow (who's 5 months old) had a brother that he was used to being with all the time. Then one day the brother was sold and after that Barlow was very depressed. *tears* So, after Mom heard that story, she decided that Barlow was the perfect dog to join her family. Yay!

Brothers

More thoughts on my idea...

2008-02-28T17:28:00.002-06:00

A while back Emery wrote about her love story (which was amazing) and she got the idea from Jen who was writing her own love story (also a great read!). I’ve been thinking about it for months now. I wanted to start writing a bit about my life. The Story Of Me if you will. I’ve been through some rough times. Most of my struggles have to do with low self esteem, depression, bad boyfriends, pregnancy, abortion, drugs and alcohol and how I coped with all of the above. My story, to others, may not be so interesting. I guess I’m afraid of putting it all out there in the blog world and having people laugh at me. “Oh, she thinks that was bad! She has no clue.” I’m scared.

Okay. That’s a reason why I wouldn’t want to write about my life. How about a reason TO write my story? My main motivation for sharing my life story is hope that it would minister to someone out there. I’d like to know that someone could read my story and learn from my mistakes. Or someone who is going through what I went through could read my story and know that I turned out okay.

I have an idea...

2008-02-28T15:44:00.005-06:00

DOH! Stop the presses... I've been thinking. I'm always posting silly stuff, but really there's a lot of "deep thoughts" going on in my head. I just don't know how to get it out into this blog. I've been inspired...by some of the bloggers I love...to tell some of my story. I was thinking about starting a series. Something like "Tough Topics"...or something with a MUCH cooler name. Hehe. It'd just be something I'd randomly do.

Here are a few topics I'd like to talk about:

Christianity
Sex
Abortion
Depression

What do you guys (my two readers) think? I'm open to a series title change and also other topic suggestions. I just have a lot of personal experience that I could share with the blogosphere. I've talked about sharing before, but this time I'm really serious. I've actually been making notes.

Like I mentioned b/f, these "Tough Topics" would be random...just sprinkled in with my other nonsense posts.

Let me know what you think!

Indulge Me UMKAY?!

2008-02-27T13:45:00.006-06:00

Sam is my only "child". I lub my widdle, handsome man. Here's a video of me trying to wake him up one morning. It's almost 2 mins of pure cuteness. He is soooo not a morning dog. He insists on belly rubs before he will get outta bed. Sometimes it takes MORE than belly rubs. Sometimes I have to bribe him with treats. Can we say, "SPOILED?!"

I'm Going! Yippee!

2008-02-27T12:28:00.004-06:00

I bought tickets to see The Avett Brothers. I am very excite! =)

*doing happy dance*

So true...

2008-02-25T16:35:00.001-06:00

Logan update.

2008-02-25T15:54:00.002-06:00

Logan is all better now.

The end.

Logan and I at his high school graduation, 2002.

Insomina rocks my socks...

2008-02-25T00:50:00.006-06:00

Not really. So, it's 12:51 a.m. and I can't sleep. Maybe it's because I was uber lazy today (yesterday...er, Sunday) and slept til noon? Who knows. Whatever the reason, I'm up. I finished my book earlier today and don't feel like starting a new one right now. I've checked the Oscar website to see who the big winners were (Yay Diablo Cody and Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova!) So, now what? I guess I'll finally get around to the Book Meme...the one that Jenn tagged me for days ago.

Here are the Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.

There are two books of equal closeness to me: The Bible and an old journal stacked on top of one another. Which should I choose? I think I'll choose both. =)

The Old Journal. Page 123. Fifth sentence down:

"I grabbed the hand of the child closest to me. The tornado started to suck things out of the room and the children, all holding hands, were waving in the air like a flag. They looked like paper dolls."

That was written on Tuesday, August 1st, 2000. I was describing a dream I had about a tornado. I've always been terrified of tornados. Sigh. I was kinda hoping for something juicier than that! =)

The Bible. Page 123. Exodus 24:7-9:

"Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it to the people. They responded, "We will do everything the Lord has said; we will obey." Moses then took the blood, sprinkled it on the people and said, 'This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you in accordance with all these words.'"

The Bible passage was much more dramatic than my journal entry. Why you gotta steal my thunder, God?! Hehe. So, basically the important part of that passage is that the people had to agree to OBEY the Lord before they could enter into a covenant with Him. Very interesting! =)

Now I'm supposed to tag five people...but since I've already messed up the rules by posting entries from two different books, I think I'll continue with my rebellion and not tag anyone at all.

A sad bit of news...
One of my old friends, Greta...her husband died Friday. Greta is 9 months pregnant and actually due this week. I went to the funeral visitation today. When I hugged her, she said, "Hello Courtney, how are you?" (WHAT?! She's asking about me?!) I said, "I'm fine. How are you doing? How that little man (in her belly)?" She said, "I'm fine. He's fine. We're going to be fine." Wow. I can't help but think that she's in shock. That the reality of losing her husband...of her child never having a chance to meet his father...that she has to raise this child all on her own...just hasn't hit her yet. At the same time, the Greta I knew (it's been a while since I've seen her) was a strong, independent woman and I think she will be fine. The card I bought her said, "Why God? Why this? Why now?" Of course, there are no real answers to those questions. Just things like, "God's will" or "God's timing", etc. The truth is that we're not supposed to understand God. While I was waiting in line to reach her and offer my condolences, I was literally shaking. I was so scared...so nervous. I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I was silently praying, "Lord, forgive me for thinking of myself at this time (b/c I was so scared). Please give the words of comfort..." But, when I got to her, she asked about ME. She seemed so calm, so...OKAY. I could only shake my head in wonder. I told her I loved her and that I'm always here for her and then walked away so that the next person in line could speak with her. As I walked away, I felt reassurred. God is in control. This awful thing has happened to my friend, but God is still in control and he's going to comfort and take care of Greta. Again, wow. Greta is an amazing woman. I know she is going to have a lot of rough times ahead of her, but she is a strong woman who loves the Lord with all her heart. She will be fine.

So...

2008-02-19T11:47:00.008-06:00

My brother, Logan, has been in the hospital since last Tuesday. I'm a little behind on getting the prayer request out. Heh. But, I was so busy and stressed and tired... I'm guessing you'll forgive me.

Background: Logan has Addison's disease. He was diagnosed with this at the age of 14. Basically, he was wasting away in front of us. Mom and Dad were concerned, but thought maybe he was just lazy. Heh. Also, they thought that maybe he was anorexic. Mom would come home from work and force Logan to eat. He would spend his (summer) days laying on the couch watching t.v. He was super tan, but that was chalked up to the fact that my parents had a pool. It was a fluke that his disease was even discovered.

My grandfather was in the hospital for something crazy...like not having enough blood! So, my mom and Logan went to visit him. A nurse noticed Logan and asked him what nationality he was. He said, "I'm white!" and the nurse told my mom that she should get him checked out. She said it was unusual for him to be so dark. So, mom took Logan to see our PCP who drew some labs and then immediately admitted him to the hospital. He was diagnosed with Addison's disease. Basically his adrenal and thyroid glands are dead. He has to take synthroid, prednisone and florinef for the rest of his life...to replace what the adrenal and thyroid glands can no longer do.

_____________________________________________

Monday, my other brother, Timmy, IM'd me and asked if I'd seen or heard from Logan. Well, that's NEVER a good question to ask about Logan. It usually means something is wrong. I called Logan's cell phone twice with no answer. Then Timmy IM'd me back and said, "Oh...no big! I was just wondering if I owed him money for bills." So, I brushed my fears aside. Tuesday morning my parents left for Florida. I was supposed to spend the week at my parents house...house/dog sitting. Tuesday night, my mom called to check on me. During that coversation I mentioned that IM covno with Timmy and how it scared the crap out of me. Mom said, "Um, Courtney. I HAVEN'T seen or heard from Logan since last Thursday." OH CRAP. So, I called Logan's cell again. No answer. ICE COLD FEAR ran down my spine. I called Logan's work. They said he had called in sick. I told my mom this and she told me to get my butt to his apartment RIGHT AWAY. I drove to Logan's apartment. His car was in the parking lot. The door was locked, but I could see the glow from the TV set. I banged on the door and the window, but Logan wouldn't answer me. I started to freak out. I called Timmy who had a spare key. He rushed over, but was unable to unlock the door b/c he didn't have a key to the deadbolt. So, we're both banging on the door/window. The neighbors are looking out their windows. Finally, Timmy spots movement from the couch (thru the blinds). He yells, "Logan! It's Timmy and Courtney. Open the door." And he does.

I walk in the apt and Logan's on the couch bundled up in a comforter. I say, "LOGAN! ARE YOU SICK?!" And he nods. He starts talking to me, but his words are so slurred it takes him forever to get a sentence out. I say, "ARE YOU DRUNK?!!!" He looked irritated and said, "NO!" (he doesn't drink BTW, but the way he was talking...I didn't know.) I finally got the gist that he hadn't had his meds in over a week and that he'd been vomiting all weekend (and he hadn't answered the phone b/c his phone was dead...the charger wasn't working). He said, "I'm going to the doctor tomorrow." I said, "Do you have an appt?" And he said, "No. I'll call them tomorrow." I said, "Well, I'm going to go with you. And in the meantime, I'm going to run to walmart and buy you a new phone charger." Timmy decided things were okay...or that I had it under control...and he left. Mom was on the phone with me this whole time. I had the phone down by my hip and she had heard the whole convo. I told Logan to keep the door unlocked...that I'd be right back. As I walked out the door, I put the phone to my ear and mom was screaming at me. She said, "HE'S HAVING AN ADDISON'S CRISIS! You take him to the ER right now!" *I just have to say that in the 9 years he's had Addison's disease, he's never had a crisis. So, that's why I didn't recognize it.* So, I tell Logan we're going to the ER ASAP. He was resistant at first, but I finally convinced him to get up. I had to help him get dressed and put on his shoes. He couldn't even walk on his own. He was confused and couldn't stand up straight. In the car, he leaned over and put his head on my shoulder. He said, "Thank you, Sister." Sigh. *another thing...I don't like thinking of this, but if I hadn't mentioned the IM convo to my mom...who knows when Logan would have been discovered. He probably would have died. Mom and Dad weren't due back to town until today.*

Sorry this is such a long story. It has consumed my life for the last week.

I'm pleased to say that the Saline Memorial ER was great. I didn't even have to sit down in the waiting room. I signed Logan in and we were immediately triaged and put in a room. After 5 hours he was admitted for critically low sodium and chloride levels. His BP was also critically low. He was confused and could barely talk in complete sentences. He was given IV sodium, steroids and fluids. We didn't sleep at all that night...nurses were in and out of his room taking vitals, blood, blood pressure, temps, etc... My parents were sitting in an Orlando airport praying for a flight home. It was crazy! At that point, the days run together. Logan's sodium SLOWLY rose, but his blood pressure didn't come up much. Because of the massive doses of steroid he was receiving, his blood sugar started rising. He had several shots of insulin the first few days. And as an added bonus, he somehow caught pneumonia in the hospital. Super! They had to put him on oxygen. Another bonus, the hallucinations. Yep, that's right. Hallucinations. Apparently IV steroids cause hallucinations at night. IT. WAS. AWFUL.

___________________________________________

Now, it's day 7 of Logan being in the hospital. I'm happy to report that he's feeling much better...acting like Logan again. Unfortunately that pneumonia is hanging on. They can't take him off the IV meds until his chest is clear. Once he's off the IV meds, they'll watch to see how he tolerates his (usual) oral meds...basically just to make sure he's back to normal. Then he should be able to come home! Yippee.

Speaking of home...I have to move now. Remember in the past, I was kinda hoping to move? The roommate thing worked itself out. So, it's not like I'm DYING to move now. BUT, because of this whole "not taking his meds" thing...Logan now needs a keeper. Um, yeah...he's 24!!! So, when his lease is up on his apartment (June), we're moving in together. Not so much so I can take care of him, but so he'll never be in a position where is so deathly ill and no one knows. Please pray that Logan and I can find a good place to live...one that allows dogs and preferably had a fenced in back yard.

Sigh. I don't even have time to go back and proof read. I hope there aren't too many spelling/grammatical errors. I hope it makes sense!!! Heh. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted!!

Here's a pic of Logan when he was first dignosed. He was nothing but skin and bones.

Logan, age 14.

Logan, age 24.

Music! Yayz!

2008-02-08T15:56:00.000-06:00

Here's the music I've aquired in the last week:

Black Mountain - In The Future
Cat Power - Jukebox
Ingrid Michaelson - Girls and Boys
Jack Johnson - Sleep Thru The Static (from Jenn)
Kate Walsh - Clocktower Park and Tim's House
Liam Finn - I'll Be Lightning
Sia - Some People Have Real Problems
The Whigs - Mission Control

Yay for new music!

I also bought 6 movies last weekend and plan to buy another 6 more tonight. I'm in the mood to spend, spend, spend! MAKE IT STOP!

I WANT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-07T09:58:00.001-06:00

OMG! Robert Plant! Pearl Jam! My Morning Jacket! Death Cab! Sigur Ros! Iron & Wine! Broken Social Scene! Rilo Kiley! The Avett Brothers! I'm going to have a heart attack!!!!!

Weekend Project...

2008-02-02T21:28:00.000-06:00

It's been an eventful weekend so far! Last night KK came over to hang out with me and the roomie. We drove to LR to go shopping at Linens N Things. I bought these pillows and these curtains. Unfortunately they didn't have the bedding I wanted. So, we had to drive to NLR to get it. But, we had lots of fun driving around and being silly. So, it was worth the trip! When we got home, we settled in to watch We Are Marshall. KK and I were so tired we couldn't even finish the movie. Roomie said it was good, so you'll have to take her word for it.

Sam and I got up early this morning. He had a vet appt. Poor Mr. Handsome Man! He's a trooper though. He only whined once...after the 2nd shot. He endured a blood draw, booty temp taking and having his nails clipped w/o making a sound. I love my baby. The whole visit took less than half an hour. I have a happy, healthy, widdle man!

This afternoon I decided to work on my bedroom. I've been here 4 months and I haven't done a thing! Most of my stuff is still in boxes. I don't have any pics or decorations on the walls. Here's a before pic of my tiny bedroom:

Looks like G-ma's house.

Much better! Wall decor coming soon...

Doggie approved.

I Can Haz NKOTB Reunion Tour Pleez? KTHXBAI!

2008-01-30T15:59:00.000-06:00

Is it true or isn't it!? I'm going crazy wondering about it. I want to KNOW so I can plan my outfit and make travel arrangments (if they don't come to my state)! *stomping foot like petulant 3 year old!*

If you're shaking your head in disbelief right now...puh-leese! Do not underestimate the level of my obsession! I am CRAZY about NKOTB. =) Also, don't even PRETEND like you didn't love them also in '89/'90!

___________________________________________________________________

IM Convo with my mom...yesterday:

Mom: Guess what Elizabeth was talking about on The View today?!

Me: What?

Mom: NKOTB! She's so excited about the reunion tour. You're obsessed...but I think she may be just as obsessed as you!

Me: That's funny! Speaking of my obsession, I wrote a blog about it last night. Here's the link (and I gave her the link to my previous blog.)

Mom: (after reading blog) OMG! That's so funny and fantastic (fantastic is her fave word)! I can't believe you still have that journal! Timmy (my brother) says you need to email that to Elizabeth!

Me: WHAT?! No freaking way!

Mom: DOOOO IT! Maybe they'll read it on the air!!!

Me: *shrugs* Okay. (I do it...and tell mom when I'm finished.)

Mom: OMG! Maybe they'll ask you to be on the show! And you'll get to meet NKOTB! And they'll fly you to NY and put you up in a fancy hotel and treat you to dinner in a fancy restaurant! And you'll take me, of course!

Me: You're dreaming, woman!

______________________________________________________________________

Anyhoo...sorry to bore you with my long convo, but it gave me a laugh yesterday! =)

On every break I've had today, I've searched the interwebs for news about the NKOTB reunion. tmz.com said it was true. People.com said it was true. E!News apparently said it was NOT true...according to my friend, Jenn. Danny Wood tried to dismiss the rumors. BUT...if it's a rumor, then why in the world is the NKOTB website up and running again? And why is there a teaser video on there?! It says:

"They rose from the streets of Boston to become the biggest band in the world. They influenced a generation....Then they walked away from it all. Millions of fans around the world await their return. NKOTB. Are you ready?"

Why would they say that if it wasn't true?! To cause the obsessed fans like me MISERY???? *tears*

There's even a sound clip of a new song! I can hear Joe, Donnie (I think?) and Jordan singing and I KNOW it's nothing that has been released before. Sigh. To steal a phrase from Britwreck: GIMME MORE!!! More info that is. Put me out of my misery PLEASE! Just confirm...is it true or isn't it?!

__________________________________________________________

Here are some interesting links:

NKOTB to be a threesome? Best Week Ever

Danny is lying? NYmag

It's not a reunion, but a reality tv show? Dlisted

What are you wearing to the NKOTB reunion? Trendinista

___________________________________________________________

BTW, I'm sooo listening to NKOTB Greatest Hits on my iPod right now! DON'T JUDGE!

I really do have decent taste in music! See my previous music blogs for proof. It's just that the mere mention of NKOTB and I turn into a 13 y/o girl again! I can't control myself!!

NKOTB. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

2008-01-28T16:10:00.000-06:00

Convo with my mom...

Me: Mom! tmz.com reported that NKOTB is getting together for a reunion tour!!

Mom: No way! Crazy!

Me: I'd soooo go to that!

Mom: Want to camp out all night for tickets?

Me: Yes! But, sadly, we probably won't have to do that this time around.

Mom: You never know...there's probably a lot of Courtneys out there in this world. You should call Shelly and see if she wants to!

Me: And we could recreate the outfits we wore that night!! Yessssssssssssssssssss!

Story behind the convo:

In 1990, NKOTB came to my home town. Since they were ALL THE RAGE back then, we were afraid that we wouldn't get tickets. My mom, being the super cool mom that she was, took my cousin, Shelly, and I to camp out at Sears. It was so much fun!

The following is a journal entry from the night of the concert. I'm typing it exactly how I wrote it on that day. I was 13 years old. =)

New Kids On The Block

Live

in Concert at Barton

7:30 February 16

Friday Feb 16, Shelly & I went to the concert. I stayed home from school that day to get ready. We were wearing matching outfits. They were: white t-shirts that had New Kids On The Block Hanging Tough February 1990 written on them, dark blue jeans, red socks and black shoes. We also wore our hair back in ponty tails w/ black ribbons & we wore one black peace sign earring & one red hoop earring. We left the house at 5:00. Then we went to Taco Bell & ate. We ran into Ashley, Stephanie, Katherine & Tabitha. They were with Ashley's aunt Susan. We left at about 6:00 and arrived at Barton at 6:30 & waited in line until 6:50 then went straight to the restrooms. We finally went to sit down at 7:00. We couldn't wait for the show to start!! At 7:30 the anouncer interdouced a 13 year old kid, his name was Bobby Roz something. Anyway, he sang three songs then the anouncer interdouced a new group by Mourice Starr. I forgot their name though. Anyway, they were real good. They sang 3 songs then the Cover Girls came out. They sang one song then dedicated "We Can't Go Wrong" to the New Kids & asked the crowd to sing along. It was great! Then they sang another song. When they were through there was a short inter mission before the New Kids came on. When they did THEY WERE WONDERFUL! It was the funnest nite of my life!! We had a screaming contest & our side won! We made a song too! It was cool! It went like this: na, na, na, na, na, na, na, oh oh oh oh oh, oh, the right stuff! They sang songs off all their tapes including songs before their first tape. Jordan & Jon sang Happy Birthday for no reason at all. Jon said that they used to sing it to their mother. Donnie took off his shirt. He was sooo fine! He also kissed TWO girls. And I wasn't one of them! I wish I was though! Danny was wonderfully fine. He has a great body. Joe sang "Please Don't Go Girl in a deeper voice and it sounded Soooo cool! Jon got his hair cut!! It's weird, but cool! I'm just not used to him with it. Donnie's hair was high. Joe's was the same, so was Danny's & Jordan's. They were totally wonderful! I love them more than anything in the world besides God!!!!

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh! I would love to dress up like that again and go scream like crazy over them. A few years back, Jordan Knight came to LR and I passed up going to see him. I WOULD NOT PASS UP SEEING NKOTB REUNITED!!

The Journal Entry

The Scrapbook

Since writing this blog, I have learned that E! News has reported that the NKOTB reunion tour is not true. It was nothing but a cruel rumor by tmz.com. *tears*

Boring Weekend...

2008-01-28T12:49:00.001-06:00

First...a shout out to my pal, SBB! Happy belated b-day!!!!!!!!

I didn't do ANYTHING this weekend. Well, that's a lie. I watched 3 movies, read 5 trashy hollywood gossip magazines and had Rach over for a sleepover. BUT...I was very lazy all weekend. Ooooh! That's a lie too cause I totally redeemed my weekend with a 30 min walk around the neighborhood last night with my dog. Yay me!

So, to start over. I had a very busy weekend! =)

Here are some movies I watched:

10 Things I Hate About You - In memory of Heath Ledger. Rach came over Sat night and we sighed over what a tragedy it was that Heath Ledger is now gone. Isn't it funny (not ha ha) how you can be sad about a person's death when you didn't even KNOW them? Anyway, I may be a dork for admitting this, considering how teeny bopper this movie is, but it's one of my favorites! Very cute.

Little Children - Hmmm. What to say about this movie... First of all, there's a very annoying narrarator. It's like listening to someone read you a book...which is not what you want when you're watching a movie. I will reluctantly say that the narrarator did give you insight into what the characters were thinking, but DANG! Annoying. Also, do not watch this movie w/ kids around. Very racy. So, I didn't LOVE this movie.

Deja Vu - I know. This movie came out FOREVERAGO, but I just got around to watching it last night. It's really good, IMO. I heart Denzel Washington. I wonder if the gov't can really do that????

I think that's all the movies I watched this weekend.

I just want to mention, real fast, the reality tv shows I'm currently addicted to...

Scott Baio is 46...and Pregnant - He makes me laugh.
Project Runway - I freaking love this show. I think Christian will win it this season.
John & Kate Plus 8 - My roommate got me addicted to this show. I love it!
American Idol - I'll admit, I'm not super addicted to this yet. I have a hard time watching b/f the top 24 are chosen. I get embarrassed for the poor people who think they can sing. =(

Hmmm... I think that's all. Thank the Lord for reality tv to fill in the gaps this writer's strike is causing.

Sigh. I need a life.

Life is funny...

2008-01-22T14:09:00.000-06:00

I've been sitting here feeling bored with my life and wondering what the heck my purpose is, and then...

One of "my kids", Rach, emailed me today asking if I'd talk to one of her best friends. Apparently this friend, A, is in a relationship with a boy that has gotten too physical too fast. Rach is worried about her friend and wants me to share my story with her. So, we're setting up a girls night where Rach and her friend can ask me all their questions about sex and also where I can share my personal experiences. Fun, huh? Um, not so much! Hehe. Actually, I'm happy to be able to help, but SCARED TO DEATH about being "uncool" or something. My first experience with sharing my story to teenage girls (at church) didn't go so well. I felt like they could care LESS about what I had to say. I was hurt by that first experience, but I think I learned a valuable lesson from it. So, when we have our girls night I just want to share my experiences and listen to theirs. I don't want to be pushy or judgemental or preachy (cause A doesn't do church). I just want them to feel comfy with me. And maybe I'll be able to plant some little seeds that will help the girls out later in life. Pray for me! I want to go into this prayed up and with the right attitude. BTW, these girls are 16-17. *shaking in my boots*

I Heart Music! (#3)

2008-01-22T11:07:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time since I've posted what I've been listening to. I think I've aquired ELEVENTY BILLION albums since my last music post!! Here are some of my faves:

Across The Universe - soundtrack

I can't freaking wait to see this movie! I might try to catch it at the ghetto dollar theater. =)

Band of Horses - Cease To Begin

The Bird & The Bee - Please Clap Your Hands EP

I really love this duo. I'm into chick groups right now.

Devandra Banhart - Cripple Crow

Eddie Vedder - Into The Wild soundtrack

Another movie I can't wait to see. This soundtrack is great. Eddie Vedder is a genius.

Foy Vance - Hope

I'm so glad that he finally has an album released in the US. I love his voice.

Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - The Swell Season

This is the "leftovers" from the Once soundtrack. I love them!

Gomez - How We Operate

Iron & Wine - The Shepherd Dog

Jon Foreman - Fall and Winter EPs

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love Switchfoot. Especially Jon Foreman. Jon's two solo EPs are brilliant.

Lucinda Williams - West

Merrick - Merrick, Drive Around A Lot...

This is another project of the lead singer of The Bird & The Bee. Good times!

The New Pornographers - Challengers

Okkervil River - The Stage Names

Once - Soundtrack

I can't say enough about this movie...much less the soundtrack. Good stuffs!

Rosie Thomas - These Friends of Mine, If Songs Could Be Held

Beautiful voice.

Rufus Wainwright - Release The Stars

Update...

2008-01-22T10:49:00.001-06:00

I really have NOTHING to update you on. Seriously, NOTHING is happening in my life right now. Work is meh. Church is meh. Life is meh.

Work: I'm still in the same job (Liver Transplant Program Coordinator) and it's feeling a bit like a dead end. My goal this year is to squeeze all I can out of this job and then start looking for other prospects.

Church: I've been a very bad girl. I haven't been to church in FOREVER. I have good intentions, but...just never follow through. I think I found the right church for me, but it's like a switch flipped or something a couple months ago and I haven't been able to drag myself out of bed on Sunday mornings. I'm working on flipping that switch the other way. =) No really! I am. There are so many things I'd like to do. Besides just getting the teaching and worship that I desperately need, I'd also like to work with the Missionettes and the church's homeless outreach program.

Life: So...nothing going on there. =) Just a lot of sleep. Also, a lot of movies and music. I did start a new diet. It's going well so far. The roomie situation is holding for the moment. I'm praying for a sudden influx of money so I can move out though. Hehe. Sam and I want our own place again.

Told ya! Nothing is going on right now. Sigh.

Things that make me laugh today: silly comics and blogs.

Change of Plans...

2008-01-19T00:22:00.001-06:00

We didn't get to see 27 Dresses like we'd planned. The theater was a mad house tonight. I'd forgotten how bad it was b/c I usually go to the movies during the day. Anyhoo, when we got to the theather we found out that our movie was sold out. Dang! So we decided on another:

Charlie Wilson's War

As my mom would say, "FannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnTastic!"

Lots O' Movies!

2008-01-16T11:58:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged about my movies in a little while. Here are the movies I've watched recently.

The Invisible: This was actually a very good movie. Kinda sad.

Vacancy: I didn't expect this movie to be any good. I just wanted to watch Luke Wilson play a serious role. It turned out to be much better than I expected. Not great, but it kept my attention for the whole 80 minutes. Heh.

1408: Big ol' MEH. I didn't love this movie. I was disappointed. John Cusack is one of my favorite actors and Stephen King usually delivers some weird, creepy stuff. This was just retarded.

Once: OMG! Sooo wonderful. Love love loved it! It's so low budget and really doesn't have much of a plot, but it's definitely charming. The soundtrack is awesome too. I recommend it and the subsequent album, The Swell Season. Good stuffs! BTW, now i want to go to Dublin, find a cute Irish busker, make music with him and fall in love. Sigh.

The Gift: I was surprised to learn that this movie was written by Billy Bob Thornton. It's very good. It also has Giovanni Ribisi in it. In my book, you can't go wrong with Giovanni!

So, that's it! This weekend I'm planning to watch Breach, The Heartbreak Kid and Notes On A Scandal. And...I'll probably go see a movie with a pal...maybe 27 Dresses with Katherine Heigl. How's that for a life?!

TTFN.

Love This!

2008-01-09T16:51:00.000-06:00

Watch this video!

I'm 31. Whoopty Freaking Doo...

2008-01-07T03:00:00.000-06:00

I turned 31 this past Saturday. I'm not thrilled. I hate being this old because I feel like I've accomplished nothing in my life. I feel like I'm no better off at 31 than I was at 21. I felt depressed when I turned 30, but I did nothing to make myself feel better by my 31st birthday. See, that's what I do. I complain. I wallow in my depressive state, but I do nothing to get out of the rut. I'm pathetic. I know it's hard for most people to understand. Most of my friends are married w/ children. Those that aren't have careers or something fulfilling in their life. I realize that a lot of people have it worse off than me. But I'm still depressed. I don't know why, but I've always measured success by those things: career, marriage and children. My original plan was to be married by the age of 25 and have the other two fall right into place. When that didn't happen...

Geez! I'm not stupid. My head knows that it's God's plan for my life that I should want. Not my own. My head knows that everything happens in God's timing. My head knows that God couldn't possibly bring me a husband when I'm so screwed up emotionally...not to mention physically and financially. My head knows that I need to love myself and more importantly, accept God's love for me before I could accept love from a man. Somebody needs to tell all of that to my heart.

I know all of that sounds horrible. Don't get me wrong...I am actually a little hopeful. Because this time I'm going to do something about it. I've set some goals for 2008. I'm starting to see a little bitty light at the end of the tunnel.

1. Depression - I'm going to take my medication like a good little patient. I don't know why I purposely sabatoge myself. I mean, the pills can be sitting right in front of me, but sometimes I just can't bring myself to take them. I'm going to take them this year. I don't want to sleep this year away. Also, I'm seriously considering some talk therapy. I've made an appointment with my PCP to talk about meds, etc.

2. Weight Issues - I believe my weight issues are the root of all my problems. I could be wrong, but this is what I believe, so let's go with it. I have a terrible self-esteem. I don't go anywhere but work, home and sometimes church. I hate to even go to the store sometimes. It's all because I hate the way I look. Well, I've taken a step toward fixing that. I joined the UAMS Weight Control Program. Basically it's a medically supervised diet and with that comes 24 weeks of behavior modification classes. It's a ridiculously expensive program, but I believe it's worth it. If anyone needs behavior modification classes, it's me! If everything goes according to plan, I should start the program on 1/14.

3. Debt - I want to get a 2nd job and take care of some of my debt. It just gets worse every year, so I want to nip it in the bud. I'm also considering a loan against my 401k. I think the monthly payment would be worth it for the peace of mind I'd get knowing that most of my debt was paid off. Plus, it's MY money that I'd be borrowing and I'd be paying myself back with interest. If I did that, the only debt I'd have left is my student loans (curse you studen loans!) and my car payment. That sounds heavenly to me.

4. School - This may not happen this year. BUT, I've been seriously thinking of nursing school. I work with some nurses that make BIG BUCKS. The job I have now doesn't pay very much and without a college degree, my future doesn't look great. I really need a job that will pay well. So, after the paying down of debt, I want to save enough money to go back to school.

4. Spirituality - I need to get back into church. I've found a church that I like, but I'm afraid of it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I need to work through those feelings and move on. I need a church family. I need the teaching and the worship services. I miss that. My goal for 2008 is to fall in love with Jesus again. Also, to learn to accept God's unconditional love and grace.

Sorry for the long, rambling post. It's after 3 in the morning (curse you insomnia!) and I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I've been feeling very bad for the last month or so. I'm sick of it. I'm ready to move on. Finally. I have some hope for the future.

Juno...

2008-01-03T14:12:00.000-06:00

I forgot to mention that on New Year's Day, mom and I went to see Juno. Loved it! It was smart and funny. It has a great cast...specifically Jason Bateman and Michael Cera and Allison Janey. And my new fave: Ellen Page.

Go see it!

P.S. I've recently started watching The West Wing. I'm now on season 2. I FREAKING LOVE IT! It's brilliant, amaz-za-zing....the best show! If you haven't watched it...go rent it today! =) BTW, I realize that I'm a few years late on this tv show. I'm also a few years late on the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have A LOT to say about that book. Stay tuned!

My parents...

2008-01-03T09:37:00.000-06:00

I feel bad because there wasn't a pic of my mom from Christmas. So, here are a couple pics of my parents from NYE. They went to Mt. Magazine and did a 6 mile hike (while I was dog/house sitting).