Here we go again...

I haven't blogged in almost a year! I have a boring life, so I don't know why I'm even considering keeping this blog at all. BUT...I'm gonna. :) So, how about an update? Well...even that seems redundant because there are only two people who read this blog. Ima do it anyway...

1. I just turned 33. Ugh. I don't love being this old. When I was a teenager, I set these (probably ridiculous) goals for myself. I was going to graduate college by 21, be married and have my first child by 25. If I measure my life by whether or not I achieved those goals...I'm a big fat failure! At the age of 21, I was just STARTING college. At the age of 25, I had dropped out of college (too much partying) and was back home living with my parents. Awesome. Life fail!

2. I moved back in with my parents (their idea). Double ugh! How lame am I? But, I'm saving on rent and utilities and they're footing my tuition bill. My mom just called me up and said, "Hey! Why dontcha move in with us and go back to school?" Um, okay. :) It's actually been pretty fantastic so far. I'm getting spoiled from all the home cooked meals.

3.Speaking of school...I started back to school this semester. I'm taking 13 hours: US History since 1877 (required for my major), Speech (I've put it off forever b/c I hate speaking in front of people!), Intro to Visual Art, Dieting & Weight Mgmt (1 hour online course. I'm taking it because I needed one more hour.) and Intermediate Algebra. The algebra is for sure going to kick my arse. I haven't done math (or any school work) since 2002. I will literally have to work on it for hours every day. Boo math! Anyhoo...my plan is to get a degree in Middle Level Education. I'll be licensed to teach English and History to 4th-8th graders. I'd prefer to teach the 8th graders, but obviously I'll take what I can get. :)

I actually think that's it. How sad is my life update?! How about a social update or something?

My kids (who aren't really MY kids, but just kids that I claim): Rach is 19 and in her second semester at Tech. She made straight A's her first semester. That's cause she's a BAMF! :) When she's home, she's my constant companion. We're BFFF and bastically the same person.

Rach is so awesome that she should have a whole planet named after her...not just a trail!

Kellie is 15 now and in the 10th grade. She's in the band...plays the flute and is on the flag line. She's really smart too. She's very social and is always going out. She had her first boyfriend and first break up this past semester. Awwww. :) She is definitely the typical 15 y/o girl!

Kellie's facebook page is full of pics like this. She's very creative.

Shae is 10 and is super craz-zay! For my birthday, she and her dad, Chris, made a song for me. I wish that I had a video of it b/c it was AMAZING! Basically, Shae made posters with the words: Happy, Birthday, Bob (what Shae calls me). Chris used Shae's keyboard to play a funky beat and then pecked out a tune similar to Jimmy Fallon's "I Wish It Was Christmas Today". Shae danced and held up the cards instead of singing. It was hiiiiilarious.

It's hard to get a good pic of Shae. She's always acting super silly. Kind of like her older sisters...

My dog: Samuel L. Jackson is still one bad mo fo. Hehe. Seriously...best dog ever! I couldn't imagine my life w/o him.


Speaking of dogs...these are my parent's dogs that have adopted me.

Baxley and Barlow

On a sadder note, recently on of my best friends passed away. Caleb was an art teacher. He was fantastic. One of the most talented people that I know. He could sing and play guitar in addition rocking at art stuff. :) I have a hard time accepting that he's not here anymore. Sometimes it hits me and it's so painful. Other times it's like he's in his apartment in Little Rock and I could just call him right up. If I called him up right now, he'd say (in country voice), "Courtney, lets just get together and marfelate on each other." He had a song about his word, marfles. "I don't want to be jaded. I just want to be marfelated." I know you can't hear the tune like I can in my head...

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I actually wrote all that a couple weeks ago. School has kept me sooo busy that I haven't been able to get back to this...

We had some wintry weather this weekend. I didn't go to work on Friday and my class was canceled today. Woot! I've been super lazy today. I got up at 845 am because mom cooked breakfast and then I was back in bed by 10. I slept until 2! It. Was. Awesome.

Today is my mom's bday. I completely forgot. It's 4:33...the day's almost over and I still haven't wished her a happy birthday. Mom woke me up at 2 and said she and dad were going to a movie...and that's when it dawned on me. I've been kicking myself ever since...waiting for her to get home so I can pounce on her. Even worse...this morning while I was eating breakfast I watched last night's Jimmy Kimmel Live. He did a hilarious bit about Oprah's birthday (which was yesterday). Mom LOVES Oprah, so I made her come watch it with me. I MADE HER WATCH A FUNNY ABOUT OPRAH'S BDAY...all the while forgetting that it was HER birthday. I SUCK!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Anyhoo...this is my first post back. Hopefully I'll remember to post regularly. But...don't get your hopes up. :)

Can't get it out of my head!

I can NOT stop singing songs from this album. I listen to it on the way to work, all day at work, on the way home from work, when I'm at home cleaning and right before I go to bed I watch one or two or ALL of their videos on my iPod.

Fa-REEK-ing HILARIOUS.


Buy it.

P.S. Just in case you don't know who The Lonely Island is (are?)... You DO know Andy Samberg, right? SNL? If you've seen SNL digital shorts, you've probably heard a few of these songs.

"A boom box can change the world. You've got to know your limits with a boom box. This was a cautionary tale. A BOOM BOX IS NOT A TOY!"

I feel this way...

I have so many dreams, but I am too lazy (or whatever you want to call it) to do the work to make those dreams come true. I wish I could change that.

Speaking of (a different kind of) dreams... I had that recurring dream again. This time I was changing lanes on a bridge. I was switching from the middle lane to the slow lane and my car just kept going. I drove right off of the bridge. I was somehow able to turn all the way around in my seat and watch myself fall...instead of seeing the water rushing at me, I saw the bridge get further and further away (in slow mo). Sam was with me and I pulled him tight into my arms. Then my car hit the water...only there was really no impact. Water rushed into the car. In the next part of the dream, I'm waking up at someone's house. I ask where my dog is and I'm told that Sam didn't make it. Not because of the crash, but because he had cancer. Injuries from the crash revealed the cancer. I was so devastated that I ran out of the house and burst into tears. I rammed my fists into my eyes to try to stop the flow of tears. After I cried myself out, I went to a bedroom and laid down. A man came in to check on me. I said, "I can still feel him laying behind me." (I usually lay on my side and Sam curles up behind my knees.) And then I woke up.

Holidays Schmolidays.

Thanksgiving was meh. Christmas was meh. New Years was fun. Yay! Birthday so far is meh.

Meh!

Haha! Sorry to be a downer, but that's just how I'm feeling these days.

Thanksgiving: Did I already blog about Thanksgiving? I think I did. So, just a refresher...Mom doesn't like to cook, so we went out to eat sushi on Thanksgiving eve and then on Thanksgiving day mom & I slept late while the boys and Dad went to Dad's parent's house. Later, we went to a movie. Four Christmases. Very funny! Overall, very disappointing Thanksgiving for me.

Christmas: Christmas eve I went to my parents house for munching and games. Logan got off work at 11:00 p.m., so we opened gifts a little after midnight. Then we all went our separate ways to sleep. On Christmas Day we reconviened and went to see The Day The Earth Stood Still. IT SUCKED BIG TIME! Overall, MEH.

New Years Eve: I was dog sitting last week, so I was in a fabulous house on NYE. I invited Rachael and Stephanie to come hang with me. My friend, Brian, also pooped in for a while. Rachael and I cooked chili and brownies and later when Steph and Brian showed up we played Scene It. After Brian left, we had a major "girl talk" session. FUN!

Birthday: Well, the fact that I'm now 32...that calls for a very loud "MEH"! But, I'm telling myself that I'm only 29, so...whatever. Birthday's now are really no biggie. My pal, Angie, decorated my desk and made me cupcakes and gave me cash. My other pal, Jenn, took me to lunch and to Starbucks. Woot! So, I'm very well fed and the extra cash allowed me to pay off my antique furniture! Yippee!! I am very excite! Tonight I'm stopping by my parent's house for some veggie soup and later my Rach is coming over to give me a prezzie. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I freaking LOVE that movie! Overall, it's been a fabulous b-day. I'm only saying "meh" over the age part.

Merry Christmas from Sam! hehe

Nuther good one...

I promise I'm not going to turn this blog into a nightly "talk about my devotion" time. It's just right now I feel like I'm waking up from a deep sleep. I'm excited that God is talking to me again...or rather...I'm excited that I'm able to HEAR Him again. Anyhoo...just wanted to share this:

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy." Psalm 16:11

Your joy is not based on your circumstances. Happiness may be based on what is happening to you, but not joy. Joy - a fruit of the Spirit - is like a deep well on the inside of you. It is not the fruit of your circumstance. No matter what you are facing in life, you can have joy in the midst of it. - From JM's Ending Your Day Right

It's not like these are new words to me. I've been a Christian for a long time. I've heard these things over and over. But, what awes me is that God knows just when you need to really hear these things. If I'd read that passage, say, last month...it wouldn't mean as much as it does to me today. Today...I'm excited to remember that I can have joy even though I'm going through some real crap right now. Yay!

One more thing...

"Oh I get by with a little help from my friends. Mmmm I get high with a little help from my friends. Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends." - The Beatles

hehe.

God's Peace. Like Calgon...only eleventy billion times better.

Things have been stressful lately. Work is so stressful that I'm working 10 hour days and having crying fits. My personal life...even worse. I've been freaking over some things this week. So bad that I've had to pull out the trusty old xanax just so I could calm down enough to sleep. This morning, I was so panicked that I could barely function. So, I prayed. "Please God. I need a miracle..."

On the way to work I thought, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?!" And by "this" I mean, separating myself from God. ABB, like you, I've been struggling with this. For three long years I've been moving further and further away. And for three long years, I've seen my life stagnate. I know what I need to do to make things right, but I'm lazy and I'm the queen of avoidance. Avoiding the physical (for lack of a better word) issues and the spiritual issues. Well, I avoid until I need a miracle. Then who's the first one I call on? God. I'm disgusted with myself for taking advantage of Him.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I did get my miracle today. And it came thru a friend...Jiff. Thanks pal.

The whole reason I'm really writing this blog is so I could talk about what I just read. You see as I was getting ready for bed, I decided I needed to get back in the Word. My life really has suffered since I stopped reading my Bible and praying...just spending time with and learning from God. So, I thought I'd start easy. Baby steps. I pulled the book Ending Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer off of my bookshelf. I opened it to December 3rd and this is what it said:

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Jesus knew he was about to pass from this world and He wanted to leave us something. He could have left any number of good things, like His power and His name, and He did. But He also left us His peace. Jesus had a special kind of peace that surpassed anything mankind had ever known. He knew it was one of the most precious things He could give. Ask for and receive your inheritance tonight!

Um...........HELLO!
God knew I needed to read those EXACT words tonight. Earlier today I was praying for a miracle. God gave me one. And now he wants to remind me that he has also given me peace. I just need to receive it.