Merry Christmas from Sam! hehe

Nuther good one...

I promise I'm not going to turn this blog into a nightly "talk about my devotion" time. It's just right now I feel like I'm waking up from a deep sleep. I'm excited that God is talking to me again...or rather...I'm excited that I'm able to HEAR Him again. Anyhoo...just wanted to share this:

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy." Psalm 16:11

Your joy is not based on your circumstances. Happiness may be based on what is happening to you, but not joy. Joy - a fruit of the Spirit - is like a deep well on the inside of you. It is not the fruit of your circumstance. No matter what you are facing in life, you can have joy in the midst of it. - From JM's Ending Your Day Right

It's not like these are new words to me. I've been a Christian for a long time. I've heard these things over and over. But, what awes me is that God knows just when you need to really hear these things. If I'd read that passage, say, last month...it wouldn't mean as much as it does to me today. Today...I'm excited to remember that I can have joy even though I'm going through some real crap right now. Yay!

One more thing...

"Oh I get by with a little help from my friends. Mmmm I get high with a little help from my friends. Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends." - The Beatles

hehe.

God's Peace. Like Calgon...only eleventy billion times better.

Things have been stressful lately. Work is so stressful that I'm working 10 hour days and having crying fits. My personal life...even worse. I've been freaking over some things this week. So bad that I've had to pull out the trusty old xanax just so I could calm down enough to sleep. This morning, I was so panicked that I could barely function. So, I prayed. "Please God. I need a miracle..."

On the way to work I thought, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?!" And by "this" I mean, separating myself from God. ABB, like you, I've been struggling with this. For three long years I've been moving further and further away. And for three long years, I've seen my life stagnate. I know what I need to do to make things right, but I'm lazy and I'm the queen of avoidance. Avoiding the physical (for lack of a better word) issues and the spiritual issues. Well, I avoid until I need a miracle. Then who's the first one I call on? God. I'm disgusted with myself for taking advantage of Him.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I did get my miracle today. And it came thru a friend...Jiff. Thanks pal.

The whole reason I'm really writing this blog is so I could talk about what I just read. You see as I was getting ready for bed, I decided I needed to get back in the Word. My life really has suffered since I stopped reading my Bible and praying...just spending time with and learning from God. So, I thought I'd start easy. Baby steps. I pulled the book Ending Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer off of my bookshelf. I opened it to December 3rd and this is what it said:

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Jesus knew he was about to pass from this world and He wanted to leave us something. He could have left any number of good things, like His power and His name, and He did. But He also left us His peace. Jesus had a special kind of peace that surpassed anything mankind had ever known. He knew it was one of the most precious things He could give. Ask for and receive your inheritance tonight!

Um...........HELLO!
God knew I needed to read those EXACT words tonight. Earlier today I was praying for a miracle. God gave me one. And now he wants to remind me that he has also given me peace. I just need to receive it.

Thanksgiving Week

On Tuesday Logan, Sam and I drove up to Petit Jean Mtn. Leisurely stops at overlooks and meandering down the easier trails...it was a beautiful day. I just wish we had gone a few weeks earlier. Most of the trees had dropped their leaves. Oh well. It was still nice.

Wednesday night, my family went to the Samauri Steakhouse for an unconventional Thanksgiving dinner. Sushi and cocktails all around. We had a blast. But...I'm kinda sad that I didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. *tears*

Thursday, mom and I had to take one of her dogs to the emergency vet in Maumelle. Turns out the dog was fine. While we were doing that, my dad and brothers were at my grandparents having their traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Later on, we all met up to go see Four Christmases. It's really funny!

Twilighters...

If you haven't read the Twilight books you're missing out. Good stuffs! Go read them before you see the movie.

Last night I went with a group of my pals to the midnight showing of the movie. We had a blast. The movie is magical and beautiful. Siiiiiiigh. <-- Hehe. That was my inner teenage girl talking. Seriously though...FUN TIMES!

The Twins. *rolling eyes*

They talk and move so fast! This was the only pic I got of them...and I think it sums them up beautifully! =)

The Twins and their momma!

KK & I

Me n My Momma!

Recurring Dream...

I have two recurring anxiety dreams. The school anxiety dream...I still have them even though I haven't been in school for years. You know the one... Usually people dream that they've shown up at school without pants or a top, or completely naked. My school dream is: I show up at school...I'm running late and I can't remember my locker combo to get my books. Or I'm in class and I can't remember any of the material and we're having a test over it in a few minutes. Sigh. I really think that I am the queen of anxiety dreams. This week I've had TWO. Not the school dream though. This is a different one. The falling from great heights dream.

Monday night I dreamed that I was driving by myself along a highway. I had to cross over a ridiculously tall bridge. Somehow I lost control of the car and went over the side. In my dream I'm saying to my self, "OMG. Is this real or a dream? I think this is real. This feels real!" and then I start praying. In this dream, it takes me a long time to fall into the water. I'm praying, "Lord, please welcome me to heaven." and then I hit the water. And I wake up. I thought this dream was interesting because usually when I'm praying to God, I'm praying for him to keep me safe...to keep me alive. In this one, I just want to go Home.

Last night I had the dream again! The gist is the same, only this time I'm in the back seat of a van. There are four of us. We're on an overpass and we're curving down and around to get to another interstate (if that makes any sense). Again, it is ridicuously high. And again, the driver loses control of the van and we go over. As we're falling, I'm praying, "God please keep us safe. Help us to land safely. Please keep us in the palm of your hand." And guess what. He did. This is where the dream differs from all of my other dreams. Usually I hit water, ground, whatever and wake up. This time we actually landed safely. After we hit the ground, my friends spilled out of the van exclaiming, "OMG. How did we survive?!" And I said, "I'll tell you how. I prayed." I looked up at the bridge...way to high up for someone to survive a fall...and thought to myself, "I need to take a picture so I can post it on my blog!" And then I woke up. =)

So, I'm sure that these dreams are a result of my current financial stress. I have this CC that I need to pay down. I have Christmas gifts to buy, the usual bills to pay and now I've agreed to buy this really great furniture. It is my dream furniture though. So, I'm going to justify it. I KNOW I SHOULD SPEND THE MONEY ON BILLS. But I've never had a matching bedroom set before. And this one is so pretty and VINTAGE. Sigh. Anyway, that HAS to be the reason I'm having the falling dream, right? Cause I googled "falling from great heights dream" and got a page that said I might be having an "astral projection"! hahahaha!

This page sums it up for me:

As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment. You have lost your foothold and can not hang on or keep up with the hustle and bustle of daily life. When you fall, there is nothing that you can hold on to. You more or less are forced toward this downward motion without any control. This lost of control may parallel a waking situation in your life. Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation. It may be the fear of failing in your job/school, loss of status, or failure in love. You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride. You are unable to keep up with the status quo or that you don't measure up.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABB!

I love you so much! I hope you have the most fabulous birthday ever!

ABB and CBB at 16.

ABB and CBB (holding CBB #2) at...25?

I love Fall!

It is my most favoritest time of the year! Here are some fall-y things that I heart...

Flossiemeister!

BayBooBear!

Goggies!

Sam and I have been dog/house sitting the past week. I'm sooo in love with the house. It's in the Heights and only 5 or 10 minutes from work. I feel so spoiled. My pals come home tonight, so Sam and I have to head back to Benton. We're so sad. *tears* But, we have tomorrow off to get over it. Thanks Veterans!

Here are some pics of Sam and Riata...the dog we've been sitting on. =)

My girls drove up and we had a slumber party Sat night. Fun times! We made pizza and watched a movie. The movie was old skool: I Know What You Did Last Summer.

If I Had To Define My Christianity...

I'd say this:

I am a Christian (that voted for Obama, BTW). I love Jesus. I want to serve the Lord. I want my life to be pleasing to Him.

I am a Christian that believes in love and acceptance. Even if I believe differently than you. Even if I disagree with your lifestyle. I will love you and accept you anyway. It is not my place to judge you. You will deal with your life decisions when you face God…just like I will.

I believe that God loves you AS YOU ARE, WHERE YOU ARE. I don't believe that there are conditions to God's love.

We, as Christians, are supposed to witness to non Christians. To bring people to Christ. I personally believe that the best way to do that is to live a life of LOVE. Not to point fingers. Pointing fingers and condemning others turns non Christians AWAY.

_____________________________________

I know all of this seems random. Actually, the above comments stem from several emails between Rachael and myself. She's confused and upset by all of the Obama bashing happening around her...in school and in church. She was actually told yesterday that she was going to go to hell because she supported Obama. *rolling eyes* She was wondering why people thought it was non Christian to vote Democrat...because that's the impression she's getting from her church. I just told her that, of course, we aren't any less Christian than the people in her church that voted Republican. It just means that we aren't "one issue" voters. *I'm not saying that all Republicans are "one issue" voters. Just the ones that are attacking her. You'd have to read all of the emails to get the full story.*

The only reason why I'm writing about this at all is because Rach feels scorned. She's hurt and confused. I really hate that! I've been there. I don't want her to go through this. I told her that because I felt hurt and confused and judged, I made the decision to stop going to church three years ago. And that's the reason I've been afraid to really search for another church home. I don't want Rach to feel like she can't go to church anymore. More importantly, I don't ever want her to question her faith.

I told her that these last three years I've been really searching myself and after much prayer and soul searching, I've decided that I want to be a Christian that LOVES. I will no longer be the legalistic, hypocritical Christian that I was for so many years. I'd like to think that during those legalistic years that I loved. But, looking back, I'm not so sure. I can recall conversations with my friends where I said the most awful things. *cringe* I regret how I acted.

My hope now is that I can help Rach through this confusion. Hopefully, this is where she'll come to the decision to LOVE...without all of the drama and hurt (and now regret) that I had to go through.

That's all I have to say on that subject right now. =)

Yes We Can!

So, Obama won by a landslide last night. I had 6 tabs going on the laptop (CNN, Fox News, ABC news, MSNBC, arkansasmatters.com and, of course, Facebook) and I was flipping back and forth on the tv between NBC and CNN. I had my notebook ready and was jotting down states and trying to keep track of the electoral votes. I soon ditched my notebook because I just couldn't keep up with the tabbing thru webpages, flipping thru channels and the eleventy billion messages, IM's and txts from all of my friends and family. It was INSANE! And I loved every freaking minute of it. I was all alone...just me and two dogs...and I didn't care! It was amazing.

At first, it seemed like it would be like past elections...watching the results come in until about 2 a.m. Obama was rising fast, but it looked like he was holding at 207 electoral votes. I expected McCain to at least rise a little bit more before they announced Obama as the winner. And then...BAM! They were announcing "Obama has won"! I hadn't moved from the couch. I had been tracking all of the results. WHAT HAPPENED?! DID I MISS SOMETHING! HOLY FREAKING CRAP! I mean, I knew he'd win, but still...it was like...WOW. Okay, I know I'm not being profound or anything. I don't care. I was and still am, speechless. It was an amazing moment to witness. This is history folks! I will never forget last night for as long as I live. Past elections have been NOTHING compared to this. We have a black president, people! HISTORIC! Anyhoo, needless to say all the messages and IM's on facebook started blowing up. It was crazy time! One side was posting headlines about how "we better start praying for out nation now because it's all downhill from here" and how "Obama is going to take all of your money" and "now we'll be a socialist nation for sure" and "I'm moving to another country" and so on and so forth. Then the other side was saying, "I'm proud to be an American again!" and "Yes we can!" and "my faith in this country has been restored." It was so wild! It was so fun! I still haven't come down yet. =)

So, now I just have to say this: If your candidate didn't win, you will survive. This country will survive. It is NOT the end of the world. We need to support our president no matter WHO he is. I believe it is unamerican to do otherwise.

I voted! Woot!

I woke up super excited this morning. I couldn't wait to get out the door and head to my voting precinct. I rushed through getting ready and taking care of the dogs. I was out the door by 7:30. I made it to Benton at 8:05 and got a parking spot up front at First Baptist Church. There were people all around the parking lot holding up signs for their particular candidate. Oooooh! I was so excited! I walked into FBC and headed to the voting room. When I walked in, I was surprised to see such a short line. There were about 6 people in front of me. I waited patiently for the cute senior citizens (is that discriminatory?) to check my name against their lists and give me my ballot. Then I waited again for a place to sit down and start voting. I wanted so badly to whip my camera out of my purse (only I didn't have my camera) and beg someone to take a picture of me holding my ballot. Soon a spot opened up... I rushed over, grabbed the tiny pencil and got down to business. The very first spot on the ballot was for the presidential election. I wondered why they'd put it first. I mean, isn't that a little anticlimactic? Anyhoo, I finished the "easy" ones and then moved on to the other issues. The bonds, the annexations, the taxes, etc...tedious! But, no matter how tedious, I was still excited to be voting for or against them. After I finished casting my votes, I gathered my things and headed to the cute guy (this guy just happens to be your dad's first cousin, Amy) by the ballot box. I couldn't resist striking up a conversation with him. He even gave me a sticker! I'm soooo special. *wink* After I left FBC, I headed straight to Starbucks for my free coffee! Woot! It's been a very exciting morning! The only thing that could have made it better would have been having a friend there to be silly with me. Oh well...I entertained myself.

My ballot just before I attacked it.

Moi...after I voted. Is that a halo?! Heh.

My sticker!

A stupid truck in the church parking lot. It says, "A vote for Obama is a vote for satan." People like that make me angry. I don't care who you vote for. You have a right to your own opinion.

Free coffee. Loves it!

Now I'm at work...watching the clock. Waiting for 5:30 to get here so I can rush home, take care of the dogs and then plant myself in front of the tv to watch the returns. I'm so excited!

GO VOTE!

It is your civic duty! Go do it!

Besides, this is a historic election! Don't you want to be a part of history?

Who's it gonna be? The most liberal senator...not to mention a major rookie? Or a really old dude that's a lot like Bush?

I love election years! It's sooooo exciting. I probably won't sleep much tomorrow night because I'll be glued to the tv watching the returns. I'm also super interested in seeing how the Congressional elections go. Will we have a 60/40 split? Personally, I hope not. I think we need a balance in congress. But, what do I know?

Halloween...

I was sick last week. Boooo! So, I didn't do much this Halloween. I did go by the Landon's house to see my kiddos costumes. See below.

Shaebaby was a box of popcorn. She won first place in the church's costume contest!

KK was a bubble bath. Super cute!

Jessie was Belle. She hearts princesses.

Me & Rach in our non costumes. Don't judge me by this pic! Hehe. I was super sick. *tears*

Friday night, after Rach got off work (at 1:30 am!!! So, I guess it was really Saturday morning.) she came over to spend the night at my place. KK was already with me. Our plan was to watch Scream and make "Sam & Ralfie" videos (I'll explain those), but it was so late/early when Rach got there that KK was already passed out and I was fading fast! Rach and I decided to nix the move and just make the videos.

Okay, "Sam & Ralfie". These are characters that we invented a couple years ago. We were hanging out at the laundry mat and we were bored. So, we decided to make stop motion animation videos with my cell phone. It was hilarious. Of course, we're easily amused by ourselves, so other people may not find it as funny. Some people just dont get us. *shaking head* Anyhoo, Rach found the "Sam & Ralfie" videos on her computer and she decided we needed to make more with our advanced technology (digital cameras). It's pretty genius if you ask me. Sam is always asking his friend, Ralfie, if he wants to do stuff (like get a dog or go trick or treating). Ralfie always answers, "I'm down." Then stuff happens and things don't go Ralfie's way and he always says, "Screw democracy." In fact, those are the only two phrases that Ralfie ever says. It makes no sense and it's completely hilarious. Rach and I made five "Sam & Ralfie" videos that night. OH THE HILARITY! I wish I had taken pictures of our "Sam & Ralfie" characters, but I didn't...and I won't be back home for over a week. *tears*

KK messing around with these eyes that I cut out of my netflix envelope! =)

Rach doing the same. We are easily amused!

Even though I was sick, I decided to go ahead and go to The 99 like I had originally planned. I was so excited about it. Their website said it was the "ultimate near death experience". Steph and I got there at 6:05 and waiting for an hour and a half! And we were the first group in line! On most nights, the wait was 3 hours...which is why we got there so early. Anyhoo, Steph and I entertained ourselves while we were waiting by acting super goofy. Not surprising...I know. At one point, I told Steph that I was soooo scared and that I was probably going to get saved FIVE TIMES while I was in there! (Thank you Amy!) I really was scared. I had heard (granted from young peeps) that it was super scary. Like scare the Jesus in you scary (which is their point). So, I was really expecting a lot from them.

Sigh.

I didn't love it. I mean, there were a couple "scenes" that were awesome, but overall it was a let down. I do think people should go through it if it comes to their area, but def try to get a free ticket. Steph and I didn't pay so I really can't complain.

Steph and I waiting in line at The 99. I couldn't seem to get myself into the pic.

The place where Rach works had a haunted house. Apparently it was ranked # 1 in Arkansas. Rach said it was so scary that she was scared when she went thru with the lights on! I had a free ticket to that one also, but in the end I chickened out! =) Maybe next year!

Bragging...

My kiddo, Rach, won a full tuition, room & board scholarship! Woot! She is the awesome.

I heart this pic of her. =)

Here are some other pics...

Me & KK at Band Night. She's on the flag line.

Rach and I waiting for HSM3 to start.

Lava...she's so crazy!

Me + KK = Pals!

Cheetos

Why are you so tasty?!

Workin' the new hair...

Haha. Cause I'm at work... *rolling eyes*

Why do I do this to myself?!

My hair was fine! Just fine! I was happy with the color, but then my mom says, "that color makes you look like your homely twin sister." ACK! Even though I'm 31 years old and my own woman...I still let what my mom says affect me. So, what did I do? I dyed my hair. And it was okay. Kinda of a weird reddish blonde color. I didn't love it, but it would have been okay if I'd left it alone. But I didn't leave it alone! GRRR! I dyed it super dooper dark this weekend and now I really hate it! I want to wear hats again until I can safely get it back to my light brown natural color. SIGH. Why do I do this to myself?!

Hair Insanity...

I've been sick of my hair for a long time. It was too long and the ends were split and dry. I wore it up EVERY SINGLE DAY. Last week, I finally broke down and make an appointment for a cut. It was supposed to be this Thursday. Unfortunately, I couldn't wait that long!!!!

Last Friday, I went to lunch with Rach. While we were eating, I was complaining about how awful my hair was. How I can't ever wear it down. How I even had to wear a hat that day to cover up the awfulness! I told her that I had an appt for next Thurs, but I wasn't sure if I could wait that long. She said, "Why don't you just go next door to Great Clips? I got a hair cut there for $13!" Um, $13!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

Hells yeah!

So, I kinda freaked out and went next door as soon as we were finished eating. SIGH. You get what you pay for. =( I think I hate my hair now. The woman cut 6 inches off the length and layered my hair to death. Granted, I sat there and let her do it, but DANG! I don't love it at all. I feel like I have the hair of a 40 y/o woman. *tears* My only consolation is that my hair grows FAST. So, hopefully it'll be better in a couple months.

\
This is the old hair on a good day. Of course, you can't see the dry, crunchy ends here.

This is me trying to cover up the bad hair last Friday. I love my hats, but it's pretty bad when you HAVE to wear a hat to cover up.

The new hair after the layer nazi got a hold of it. Ick! It looks like an old lady hair cut. And yeah, my face looks like crap too. That's why it's scribbled out. =)

She gave me bangs. *shaking head* What do I do with bangs?! They're bugging the crap outta me.

Okay. So, this is me...happy that I found a solution to the bad cut. Pull the bangs back and flat iron the rest. It almost looks like my old hair. =)

All of my griping aside, I am glad that all that hair is gone. I feel so much lighter. SIX FREAKING INCHES YA'LL! I barely have to use any shampoo now. And it takes two seconds to blow dry. So, I guess I'm not too bad off. I'll just be happier when it's a little bit longer.

_____________________________________________

In other news... I've finished three scarves now. Yay me! I've learned two different stitches so far on the long looms. I still havent' mastered the round looms. I plan to work on that this weekend. In the meantime, those scarves are so easy to make. I can whip one out in a couple hours now. Woot!